As a single venti Americano tossed at a swarm of paparazzi quickly escalated into the Great Britney Bel-Air Riots of 2007, the young woman at the center of the destruction continues to chug along with what remains of her career: Jive Records announced today that Spears's new album, "Blackout" (funny—we don't remember seeing that option on the shortlist), would be released two weeks ahead of schedule.

In other exciting news, for those of you disappointed by Spears' lackadaisical rendezvous with a pole in the "Gimme More" video, we're thrilled to be able to offer you a poor-quality outtake from the much more fully-realized R-rated director's cut, in which the singer boldly commits to her stripper character by disengaging from her leather bustier and unleashing the pasty-covered not-so-funbags within.