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As recently as April 25th, Britney Spears had her shit sufficiently together to complete a cover photo shoot without fondling herself, sharing the magical sounds of her open-door micturition with the crew, or using the day's wardrobe items as impromptu, couture pooper-scoopers, at least according to Allure. In a website gallery of the photographic work accomplished back on that landmark day, the magazine brags that Spears "voluntarily posed" for their September issue, a gentle flip of the bird to the competing publications that will now need to sedate the rampaging pop star with horse tranquilizers if they hope to compile a collection of publishable images.

[Photo: Allure; a makeup artist applies a mild barbiturate balm that calmed Spears just enough to make it through the session without a meltdown.]