Who Can Resist An Old-Fashioned Spears Family Slapfest?

Looking more and more in recent months like the living embodiment of a Bratz doll after a vengeful little brother has had his way with it, it's all too obvious to even the most casual of observer that former chart-topper Britney Spears has come undone. The singer regularly succumbs to manic-depressive episodes that see her indulging in marathon tube-top and fedora shopping sprees one moment, then savagely maiming a defenseless SUV with an umbrella the next. Star magazine now reports that the story has only grown more bleak, describing a "slapfest" between Britney and her mother:
The troubled pop princess and Lynne Spears had a "shocking slapfest" in mid-June that "left Lynne shaken and Britney more determined than ever to cut her mother out of her life for good," according to Star magazine.
"Lynne barged into the house and insisted on taking the kids out to spend some private time with them," an insider told the tab. "She didn't ask or suggest, she demanded!" says the insider. "Then she began denigrating Britney's mothering skills and losing her temper at the same time!"
While the "insider" definitely gets points for being the most exclamatory! anonymous source! ever!, we can't help but feel slightly cheated at the lack of Shocking Slapfest details. With not a single description of an acrylic-nail scratching or violent de-wigging provided, the nitty-gritty of this intergenerational catfight is left open-ended, allowing us to contribute the oddly satisfying image of Jamie Lynn airplane-spin-tossing her big sister into the melée.