This week, Hilton Hotels Corporation agreed to a buyout by Blackstone Group, at the tasty price of $26 billion. Whatever does this mean for America's most important drunk driver? Well. The Hilton family owns less than 6% of the publicly traded stock. Apart from his compensation as co-chairman of the company, Paris' grandfather, Barron (not to be confused with her younger brother Barron!) Hilton controls a bit more than 20 million shares of the company, which, says the LA Times, would be worth around $990 million at the share purchase price of $47.50. (Left out of the will, Barron contested his father Conrad's arrangements, and won.) Last year, Barron's net worth was already estimated by Forbes at one billion dollars. So now let's say he has exponentially more money, in that way that the rich have.

Barron has eight children, all of them, it seems, still living, including Paris' father, Rick. There's her uncle Ronald Jeffrey Hilton, the artist, who has only one son. (Really, don't miss that website, it's seriously sad.) Others of that generation are surely breeding as well, in privacy, though none of their children have become infamous skanks. So, unless he did what old Conrad did, and try to leave all the cash to the Catholic Church, his billions will be split down through the siblings.

Rick and Kathy have about $20-million worth in residences alone, and Rick is supposedly worth around $300 million. Their four kids are expected to be their main inheritors.

Our best estimate is that Paris makes between 5 and 8 million a year right now herself through licensing and appearances and various personal leveragings, the majority of which she surely must spend on legal fees and publicity retainers and vodka red bulls. (She might have had a bad year for income too—she's been busy!) So the inheritance from her parents alone surely won't be enough to support her lifestyle; the most she'd ever end up with (before taxes!) is probably around $75 million.

That is, until Barron the elder dies. That's when the real money comes down the Hilton pike. Round it way down to a billion split eight ways, then divvy it up further amongst the youngest generation? That's enough to keep Paris in crashed cars and some really good weed until she drops dead at the age of 44.