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NICK DOUGLAS — None of us watch Oprah, and only a few of us tune into reality shows like American Idol — it's so predictable, and who cares about the contestants? But now there's an online reality show perfect for the Valleywag crowd: The Next Internet Millionaire. Dot-commer Joel Comm explains in his video intro: "Here, at the base of the beautiful Rocky Mountains in northern Colorado, twelve aspiring entrepreneurs will compete for a $25,000 cash prize, and an opportunity to earn a million dollars as my new joint venture partner." Imagine Startup.com and Donald Trump had a crack baby even uglier than PayPerPost's reality show. As Wired News wrote, the show is so bad it's great. There's the offer of One! Million! Dollars!, the host in the just-too-big suit jacket, and the quick screenshots of his cheesy Internet businesses. Watch the intro below and check out the auditions.

Hecklers, start your engines.