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Predictably, anti-Lohan British rag News of the World, which memorably sensationalized images from a video depicting the actress innocently hanging around in a Teddy's bathroom stall, has cast a new round of photos in the least charitable light possible. Rather than recognizing that Lohan and a friend were merely playing the red-hot Hollywood after-party game "You Hold A Knife Up To My Neck, I'll Pretend To Stab You In The Breast A Couple Of Times, And Then Maybe We'll Make Out A Little," the paper misleadingly applies the labels "crazed" and "chilling" to their harmless, high-spirited shenanigans. Fortunately for the fragile starlet, she's insulated from such gratuitous tabloid attacks at Promises' idyllic Malibu stronghold, where she's busy trying to recover from an addiction she probably doesn't even have.

In other Lohan news: E! reportedly wants to help mom Dina turn her two youngest children into well-adjusted, Lindsay-style superstars by giving her a reality show of her own, and local clubs are embracing "Lohan's Law" in an attempt to keep underage patrons from costing them their liquor licenses.