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Lest we heap all of our attentions on the troubles of Promises' least promising newbie, let us not overlook the Malibu wellness facility's equally famous alumnus, Britney Spears. The singer has issued forth yet another Message of Hope on her placeholder website, BritneySpears.com, giving us some rare insights into what might have led the consummate performer to be temporarily derailed by extraneous crotch-exposing, club-hopping, and head-shaving pursuits following the dissolution of her marriage:

I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here. [...]

Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too...I confess, I was so lost.

This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now.

It's refreshing for once to see a troubled celebrity take some accountability: While Spears may still cling to the belief that she demonstrated none of the traditional rehab-qualifying symptoms, at least she steadfastly refuses to point fingers at anyone but herself for her public missteps—the sole exceptions, of course, being the media, who frame every minor vagina flashing incident in the most unflattering light possible (Tyra understands), and manager/Svengali Larry Rudolph, whose evil string-pulling could single-handedly drive any sane mother of two into a Tarzana beauty salon, in a misguided effort to chase away the Coca-Cola-fueled demon voices with a pair of electrified clippers.