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We hate to return to the subject of Britney Spears' shorn skull again on our abbreviated "holiday" schedule, but we felt it necessary to follow up our earlier post about the rampant fraud being perpetrated on the eBays with exciting news about the unique opportunity ("of a lifetime"!) to acquire the genuine tangle of chemically abused hair famously liberated from its imprisonment on Spears' scalp during her Valley-spanning Friday night meltdown. The savvy proprietors of Tarzana's hottest head-shaving salon have now established a web presence to facilitate the sale of the locks, which the winning bidder (reserve price: $1 million*, which includes a bonus package including a can of Red Bull, a lighter, and the BuyBritneysHair.com URL) is then free to use to publicize a gambling website, establish a shrine to which deranged Spears devotees will flock for years to come, or to clone their very own pop star, who, after a promising early career, will eventually succumb to the overwhelming pressures of fame and freak the fuck out at various locations along Ventura Boulevard. Happy bidding, eccentric millionaires and online gaming concerns!

[*A "portion" goes to charity, making this a partially guilt-free transaction.]

[Photo: BuyBritneysHair.com]