"The Ethicist" is Randy Cohen's long-running advice column in the New York Times. Each week, Gabriel Delahaye's "The Unethicist" will answer the same questions as "The Ethicist," with obvious differences.

In this week's column: How to file expenses for one's garage, what to do with letters of commendation, and that whole "conflict diamond" thing.

My company reimburses me for my parking garage. I found a two-car garage for $300 a month. I bill my company $150 for my half and sublease the other half for $225. I think this is fair, but my mother disagrees, believing that I should charge only my net cost, $75 a month. You? — name withheld, Queens

Question: Any time I see math, my brain does that thing where it falls asleep. Because math is boring. And math is for nerds. So, to make my life easier, from now on please bill your employer for the full $300. Then put that $300 dollars in a train leaving from Washington D.C. and heading west at 75 miles per hour, while an identical train leaves Portland, Oregon, heading east at 62 miles per hour. Where will the trains meet?

Answer: time to stop living with your mother, nerd.

I resigned from a company where I worked for 15 years. In that time, I received many letters of commendation from clients and co-workers, some addressed to me and others to my boss. May I present these to prospective employers, or would this violate my previous employer's privacy? — David Nieves, New York City

I've spent some time trying to figure out what kind of job you had where you received letters of commendation from clients and co-workers addressed to your boss and somehow felt that it was appropriate to open and read those letters, and then to keep them for future reference. In my experience, bosses might have a subordinate open their mail for them if they are busy, but they do not give those same subordinates the mail when they are done reading it. In fact, I don't know anyone who is like "Here, I'm done with this letter addressed to me. You keep it." The only thing I could come up with is prostitute, because I don't think a pimp would care about letters of commendation, and if he saw how happy it made you to let you keep them, that's just one less night of you getting all uppity and needing a five knuckled lesson in manners.

That being said, after fifteen years in the whore game, you're probably pretty used up, and I'm not sure letters of commendation, no matter how glowing, can really cover up the fact that you have a worn out anus and a pretty seriosu meth problem. I'd recommend leaving the past behind you and starting a new life, maybe as a line worker at your local McDonald's. Good luck, David!

My fianc gave me a conflict-free African diamond engagement ring. Initially, I wanted a Canadian diamond, but Amnesty International and Nelson Mandela advocate supporting the conflict-free African diamond trade. Now I am debating if we should support the diamond industry at all and instead just go for a band. What is the most ethical thing a newly engaged gal can do? — Erin McLachlan, Brooklyn

Erin, you and Leonardo DiCaprio have brought up a really important issue that is overlooked by most of the modern world. In our endless pursuit of luxury and social status, we often fail to understand just how exploitative our purchasing power can be, and the human cost is far too often hidden in the shadows. Most people are like you, good at heart, and mildly annoying. They support cruel industry practices out of ignorance or apathy, but if they understood even a fraction of the tragic circumstances surrounding conflict diamonds—or any of a number of other products that come at the expense of our world's poorest peoples—they would never support such injustice, financially or otherwise.

You have a real opportunity here, Erin, to let the world know about what is happening in countries like South Africa, by buying one of the many young children who have lost limbs in the mining trades, and wearing that child on the ring finger of your left hand. He will be lighter than wearing a regular child, because he has lost so many limbs! When people ask you what the deal is with the limbless black child on your hand, you can tell them that he is a symbol both of the individual hardship being suffered at the hands of a rapacious and unforgiving western culture, and of your own personal journey into an antiquated legal and financial relationship with another human being that has much more to do with the normalization of gender roles and the economic reinforcement of the capitalist class structure by familial conglomeration of wealth than anything like love or even affection! CONGRATULATIONS!

Earlier: He's Just Not That Into You, and By "He" I Mean "Me"