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While the intent behind Prince's decision to project his 30-foot shadow upon a billowing sheet in a manner that would spotlight his prolonged stroking of a devil cock large enough to poke a disapproving Creator Himself in the eye with its infernal, barbed meatus should be obvious, the AP still decides to ask the question:

Was Prince's pose phallic?

"The short answer is, of course it is," says Rolling Stone magazine contributing editor Gavin Edwards, who points out that on Prince's "Purple Rain" tour in the mid `80s, he performed with a guitar that would ejaculate, squirting water out of its end during the climax of "Let's Go Crazy."

The wily Satanic tandem of CBS and Prince obviously knew where to draw the line to avoid incurring the wrath of the FCC, as equipping his guitar to splooge gallons of a thematically appropriate, fiery ejaculate upon his backing marching band would almost certainly have resulted in fines that would have dwarfed those resulting from the relatively innocent exposure of Janet Jackson's armor-plated nipple.