Adequite: Rehydration For The Celebutard Soul

We've always believed that concerns that the widespread publicizing of Lindsay Lohan's hard-partying ways might somehow damage her "brand" are overblown; rather than waste their time fretting about what possibly lucrative endorsement opportunities might be lost each time she emerges from an unexpected, suspiciously timed hospital stay with one fewer internal organ, her team should be trying to match her up with products that can seamlessly integrate with her underage, club-haunting lifestyle.