Nearly Unconscious Britney Spears Last Overheard Calling Out Repeatedly To Someone Named 'Adrian'

We're pretty sure what Britney Spears' manager Larry Rudolph meant by "rocky" was that his client has been navigating the choppy publicity waters that accompany binge partying and unobstructed crotch shots hitting the internets, but we prefer the quote as it appears in this People headline, with an upper-case "R" in Rocky. With America's greatest heavyweight champion underdog once again back in theaters and beating all box office odds, is there any role model after whom to better fashion Spears' increasingly long-shot comeback chances? Her return to former glory is a mere workout montage away, with the singer huffing and puffing up the Beverly Center escalator stairs to the strains of "Gonna Fly Now," and climaxing with her leaping into the air triumphantly at its summit. (Which, less inspirationally, causes Spears to lose her grip on her toddler son and watch in helpless, contorted horror as he bounces down every grooved step to the platform below.)