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What Lindsay likely doesn't understand - yet probably wouldn't mind - is that stripping isn't simply about pole-dancing and pole-tricks. A significant portion of a stripper's night is spent in the darkened confines of strip clubs' various VIP and champagne rooms in constant physical contact with any desperate prick willing to fork over enough cash for a lapdance.

"The choice we were faced with was some covering or no covering," said Keith Miller, the chief deputy attorney general. "We decided it was better to have these coverings than nothing at all."

Even covered head-to-toe in latex, however, we still think she'd be something of a skank.

Alabama Strippers Staying Semi-Clothed With Spray-On Bikinis [FoxNews]
Earlier: Lindsay Lohan Explores What Might Have Been