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· What do Lady in the Water, Poseidon, The Fountain, and Flushed Away all have in common? We'll give you a hint: It's not water.
· Rosie O'Donnell goes all Def Poetry Jam on Donald Trump's ass.
· Michael Crichton brings all the baby-raping action Scientologists have been going on about to sickeningly detailed life in his new novel.
· Lisa Marie claims there was a conspiracy to cheat her out of a lifetime of Tim Burton's palimony. Even Cherry Vanilla was in on it!
· What was once Joan Crawford's and is now Leeza Gibbons' West Hollywood hideaway can be yours for less than $8 mil.
· Katie Couric's vacation is called short, all because CBS News feels guilty about sticking President Ford's death in the crawl. None of this would have happened if she had just taped it beforehand.