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We continue to read People because you're too cool to be seen with it. Today, Lindsay opens up to them about her partying habits with the same lies she's been telling since Herbie days. Here, we imagine how the interview went. Lindsay's quotes are 100% real, unlike the assertions in them.
So Lindsay, we hear you've been going to AA lately.
 "I've been going to AA for a year by the way."
Uh, why? For a drinking problem? Have you been drinking lately, by the way? You look kind of bloated and addled.
 "I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything."
That implies that you usually drink. Is that right? When you go out, do you sometimes get embarrassingly sloshed and humiliate yourself? By drinking?
 "I'm not even legal to, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I have Red Bull."
Do you have any advice for people who might find themselves in the exact situation that you apparently are in but deny being in?
 "I think, don't do it for someone else. Do it for you, 'cause if you do it for someone else you're going to relapse. It's not going to be a change. You have to really do something if you want to do it and ... if it doesn't work, you're not meant to."
Okay, thanks for your time, Lindsay. It's been real.
Lindsay Lohan: I Haven't Had a Drink In A Week [People]