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In a story that will chill you to the very bone and render completely useless everything you thought you knew about the unimpeachable ethics of public relations firms that service celebrities, Page Six reports that Ryan Phillippe has fired crisis management firm Sitrick and Co. for fabricating some utterly bland quotes about the break-up of his marriage that were used in an In Touch cover story. Shocking accusations of non-kosherness, uncoolitude, and fucking lying follow:

"We hired him. We out-sourced," explained a BWR spokeswoman, giving the official story. "We thought we might need the extra help, but we didn't. It turned out, smaller is better."

Unofficially, an insider said the flacks at Sitrick "gave a fake story to In Touch. They did a not-kosher thing, and that's uncool. They [bleep]ing lied."

In Touch quotes Phillippe as saying in an "exclusive interview," "I'm not jealous of her, that's so far from the truth. She's someone who's very talented and works hard. I've done well, too - that was never an issue."

Phillippe was also quoted, "This is the hardest time of my life - I miss my family."

The problem wasn't so much the quotes, which sound like what Phillippe would say - it was that BWR had already put Phillippe on the phone with People magazine for their "exclusive interview."

While such antics might do some damage to a PR firm's relationship with the glossy outlets desperate for any thoroughly publicist-vetted nugget upon which they can slap a 30-point EXCLUSIVE! headline, we think Sitrick can use this controversy to its advantage, selling themselves as an agency so full-service that its clients don't even need to be bothered with interrupting their busy schedules long enough to actually say the inconsequential things they'll later read about in In Touch and People.