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· A Best Week Ever blogger decides to test-drive Cocaine (the energy drink, not the strawberry-flavored narcotic), and discovers that a drug habit is probably more advisable than another dalliance with the peppery, heart-palpitating beverage.
If Lindsay Lohan really wants to get back at her recent ex and Paris Hilton at the same time, might we suggest she mastermind an easily traceable murder-suicide frame-up? Let's just get everyone out of the way at once.
Meanwhile, American Airlines uses Lohan's own words against her.
· The Thighmaster doesn't seem to be much of a Studio 60 fan. Maybe he's getting back at Aaron Sorkin for that cheap shot about bloggers being spelling-challenged, pajama-clad hacks.
Great news for Silver Lake homeowners—your sudden proximity to the tony shops of Larchmont Boulevard should instantly boost your property values!
· It's been far too long since we've done this, so: Hey, unicorns!