Lindsay Lohan To Solve Various Middle Eastern Crises Through The Power Of Hair Dye
Despite vague, image-rehabilitative intentions to visit the troops in Iraq, Lindsay Lohan will probably never get within 5,000 miles of the Baghdad Green Zone, especially not with her humanitarian mission to liberate every last drop of Grey Goose in Hollywood from their frosted-glass prisons still no more than halfway complete. But thanks to the Defamer Special Middle East Correspondent, we now know that Lohan is doing her part to ease some of the region's turmoil, appearing on the cover of this complimentary magazine [pictured] our far-flung operative discovered in his Amman hotel room to help call attention to Jordan's efforts to clear unexploded landmines and the plight of recent Lebanese refugees. After reading that Lohan's controversial change of hair color was actually a stirring protest against Iran's attempts to become a nuclear superpower, even the most ambivalent, celebrity-obsessed reader won't be able to resist joining the oft-dehydrated starlet's latest geopolitical crusade.
