Decoding the Times, Part Two
This morning we mentioned the Times redesign, but we didn't tell you the whole story. Because the paper thinks you're dumber than a bag of bananas, they've included a helpful Reader's Guide to explain what things like "editorials" and "articles" are. Join us after the jump and we'll all learn together.
IN THE DAILY NEWS SECTIONS
Man or Woman in the News: A portrait of a central figure in a news situation. It is not primarily analytical, but highlights aspects of the subject's background and career that shed light on that figure's role in the current event. "A Tough Leader Forged In The Crucible of Adversity," that sort of thing.
Reporter's Notebook: This is where we let Elisabeth Bumiller explain that the President is actually a really nice guy.
Memo: Sometimes there's not really any news, so we put together a couple thousand words about news that might happen in the future if the stars align in the right way.
Journal: You know how regional newspapers tend to produce the worst kind of journalism? Well, we cover the whole world: this is our version of regional newspapers.
News Analysis: This is what the five guys from other papers who we sat next to in the pressroom are saying, dressed up as analysis. While it supposedly does not reflect the writer's personal opinion, all reporters think in the same conventional generalities, so it sort of does.
Appraisal: This is where we milk the death of a famous person for as much space as we can.
Review: A specialized critic's appraisal of works of creativity — movies, books, restaurants, fashion collections. Unlike other feature writers, critics are expected to render opinions in their areas of expertise, with the notable exception of Alessandra Stanley.
News-Page Column: Regular columns offering original insight and perspective on the news, e.g. Dan Barry trying to impersonate Jimmy Breslin or Clyde Haberman rambling on about whatever altercations his family members have recently had with taxi drivers.
IN THE OPINION PAGES
Editorial: We've never met a single person who actually reads the Editorials. Op-Ed pieces, sure, but never the editorials. Still, the name Orvil E. Dryfoos always makes us chuckle; it's nice to see it up there every day.
Editorial Observer: A signed article by a member of the editorial board. These articles are pretty much always about Verlyn Klinkenborg taking a walk in the woods. Or The Wire.
Op-Ed Column: You know 'em and love 'em! MoDo compares the latest hit TV show to the White House! Paul Krugman sure is mad about something! Nick Kristoff no likey the sex trade! When Tom Friedman isn't out pimping his books or making speeches, he's here telling you that things are going to be okay in Iraq in, say, six months! Tierney and Brooks are our conservative voices; here's how you tell them apart: Tierney is a liberatarian, which means, "Leave me alone to my legalized drugs; fuck the poor." Brooks is the guy who will passionately defend bipartisanship and mournfully rue the decline of civility in our politics while arguing that pretty much everything is the Democrats' fault. And Bob Herbert? He's the black guy! This is so worth your yearly $50!
Op-Ed Contribution: An article by a person not on the staff of The Times, reflecting opinions about a topic on which the author is an expert or has provocative and well-reasoned ideas. If this is by a political figure, it was written by someone on his or her staff. If this is about a current event, it was written by someone with a book to sell. If this is supposed to be funny but fails on every level, it was written by Andy Borowitz.
