Bald Is The New Blonde

Today's Thursgay examines the frightening possibility that regularly dumping a shitload of chemicals on your scalp might not be the healthiest thing you can do. While a recent study suggests a possible cancer link, epidemiologists caution that the findings are inconclusive. Still, we're not going to let a little thing like "science" keep us from our traditional role of furthering unsubstantiated scares, so there you have it: Your dye job is KILLING YOU. Apparently, the sixth stage of coif coloring is chemo.