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Tori Spelling's autobiographical VH1 sitcom, so noTORIous, veers from the delightful roadmap of privilege that is her life when it comes to the subject of romance. While the series portrays her as a likable and bumbling single girl looking for her one true mensch, the real Tori has already found him in Dean McDermott, a Canadian actor she met while shooting the Lifetime movie Mind Over Murder. McDermott was married with children at the time, but he immediately informed his wife, actress Mary Jo Eustace, that he and Spelling were "soul mates" and that he was leaving his family. Eustace is now shopping a book about how she survived every woman's worst nightmare: having your life destroyed by Donna Martin, former 90210 virgin. Says Page Six:

Book agent Deborah Levine Herman of the Stockbridge, Mass.,-based Jeff Herman Agency, told Page Six's Bill Hoffmann that any woman who's ever been betrayed by a guy will identify with Eustace: "Her story is every woman's worst nightmare. He basically just traded her in." [...]

Last night, Tori and McDermott, who are engaged, fumed in a joint statement: "This is the first we've heard of [the book proposal]. It's opportunistic and undignified that she would want to exploit her former marriage for monetary gain. We only wish her the very best."

While trading up for the model with the larger front airbags may seem like a callous maneuver on McDermott's part, we can also see why the couple would describe Eustace's behavior as "opportunistic and undignified." If only the payoff-seeking, shunned ex-wife would take a page from McDermott's tasteful playbook and avail herself of the many trading-up opportunities that living in LA affords a single gal, she too might soon find herself marrying a skank with a billionaire family enabling her acting career.