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It's likely you have caught wind by now of reports claiming Paris Hilton and her partner in whippet-induced Bentley-totaling crime, Stavro Niarchos, have finally ended their lusty tango of STD back-and-forth-passing romance. Adding another skanky wrinkle to the story is Life & Style magazine (the same celebrity journalism fabulists who broke the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes split-up story), claiming Nicole Richie's confidante and sometimes bathroom stall solo clean-up crew member Lindsay Lohan had been spotted at club Element on April 24 with Niarchos. According to the story, the two were "dirty dancing," and at one point the Greek shipping heir "had his hand up her skirt." A PR flack for the club then sent out this mass e-mail denying the story:

Lindsay is UNDERAGE and not allowed inside James Sinclair's Element - Hollywood. ANY press that comes out about her inside is absolutely not true. We run a VERY strict door at Element and DO NOT allow underage drinking. Again Lindsay was NOT at our club the night of April 24th. Life & Style's reporting is 100% false.

In the we said/they said scenario of flack vs. unreliable tabloid news source, it's really a toss-up as to whom you choose not to believe. Our scientific coin-flip research turned up "flack" as the possibly truthful party in this instance, though our blind faith in the law abiding goodwill of LA's venerable nightlife community has been shaken before—most recently in a shocking expose of club Mood, in which Lohan herself was exposed as entering the club along with several other underage celebrity elite. And while we appreciate their creative attempts at satisfying all of their clientel, VIP and otherwise, simply setting aside a roped area in your club called "the nursery" and filling it with Playskool toys doesn't necessarily mean the child stars rolling around on its floor mats aren't getting their legal-aged companions to sneak some hooch in to add to their drinkin' boxes.