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Having determined that it would be impractical to fire herself as mother following infant Sean Preston's much-publicized tumble from a high chair two weeks ago, Britney Spears decided to dismiss the baby's nanny, according to celebrity childcare trade publication In Touch Weekly. Spears, however, was still not satisfied that removing the one person in her household responsible for the tyke's well-being guaranteed total infant safety, and quickly contracted a doctor to consult on other ways she can keep her firstborn from being victimized by future gravity-related incidents:

"The doctor advised her not to leave Preston on any high surfaces where he could roll off," an insider told the ITW, which also reports that Spears was so impressed with the sage advice that she wanted to hire the doctor full time, but he told her that it wasn't necessary.

While Spears was disappointed that the doctor refused the full-time offer, his counsel inspired her to seek out the opinions of experts in other fields. Her parenting skills were soon revolutionized by a nutritionist who encouraged her to refrain from stirring broken glass into the baby's strained carrots, no matter how "glittery" it made the otherwise "boring" meal seem, and a consulting team comprised of a plumber and electrician wisely recommended that even though her son seemed facsinated by the four-slice toaster, the appliance did not make for an appropriate tub-time toy.