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· Cruise is in the air: Still curing. Still posing. Still silencing. Still reprogramming.
· And our first Mission Impossible 3 screening report reveals some unintentional (we think) snicker moments.
· The Pellicanist: Brad Grey met with Pellicano "at least five times."
· CAA now representing pro-athletes. Like Frankie Muniz!
· Swarm attacks Sony!
· Angelina and Brad's little bundle of malaria-beset lion lunch should be arriving any moment now.
· Aaron Sorkin's signature crack recipe has been passed down for generations.
· Sean Preston no longer in mint condition.
· Gwyneth names her new baby Moses, sparing him from any schoolyard "...is a fruit!" taunts, but not from "...has a burning bush!" jokes.
· At least Kiefer wasn't going off on how hard it is to find a decent wife-beater in this city.
· The GLAAD Awards show how starfucking is a great tool in the fight for civil rights.
· Test audiences hate both The Breakup's sad and happy endings.
· "I wish I knew how to quit you!" jokes still fresh in prison weight yard.
· The Sopranos, now with 25% more fisting.
· Yes a Gyllenhaal is pregnant. No, it's not Jake (though the kids would be gorgeous).
· Could Jessica Simpson be manufacturing ass evidence?
· Ryan Seacrest 4 by 4, can't get through the kitchen door.
· After being informed selling his children into white slavery wasn't an option, Michael Jackson bails himself out with his song catalog.
· "Wait a second! You're not that Jew from the fake news show!"