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· Snakes on a FAQ: "Q: How did this movie ever get made?
A: We'd imagine the pitch for the movie went something like this:
Writer: 'It's a movie with Samuel L. Jackson...'
Studio Exec: 'What's it called? What's it about?'
Writer: 'Snakes on a Plane. Snakes on a Plane.'
Studio Exec: 'I like your moxie. Sold.' (Sprinkling millions of dollars onto table) 'Now, who do I have to blow around here to get some coke injected into the tip of my cock?'"
· Chuck Klosterman reviews* Chinese Democracy.
· Oh, how we love the Kittenpants: "Q: What's the difference between an onion and Kevin Federline? A: Nobody cries when you cut open Kevin Federline." Well, maybe noboy but the baby Jesus, but he cries about everything.
· When it's Rosie O'Donnell vs. Star Jones, it's pretty impossible to choose sides.
[*Please don't e-mail us about this item until you read to the very bottom of the review. Yes, we get it.]