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· Universal vice-chairman Marc Shmuger and Focus Features co-president David Linde squeeze their feet into Stacey Snider's vacated, pinchy shoes.
· The LAT and Page Six nearly tease us to completion with their agency merger coverage lapdance.
· When it comes to taking off her clothes, Sharon Stone's got huge brass balls; when it comes to Mideast peace, she's missing a few marbles.
· Paramount makes a cool $900 mil selling the DreamWorks library to now almost-a-billion-less-richer billionaire, George Soros.
· Scientology: 2, South Park: 0.
· Pellicano's wire-tapping web ensnares Brad Grey (Nikki Finke helps things along), and Nicole Kidman, who still finds new weekly reasons to regret ever having met Tom Cruise.
· We are proud to count Black and-White Clooney among us, but Clooneygate quickly takes him away. Then he claims he "feels abused." Not leaking spinal fluid abused, but, you know, abused all the same.
· New Welcome Back, Kotter, Ice Cube, to subject spouse to endless supply of bad jokes about his many wacky uncles and aunts.
· While we may have thought out loud that Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby looks like definite Will Ferrell shark-jumping territory, we never meant it literally.
· Oh Vin, we're almost willing to move to Europe if it meant a front row seat to your red carpet monkeyshines.
· Tom and Katie Digest: They may have already exchanged Scientological vows. The Anaheim Jumbotron broadcasts a nauseating PDA (because bigger means truer!), which answers the question of what happened to Katie at the Thank You For Smoking premiere.
· Jessica Simpson uses her years of Nick-tormenting experience to bring Washington to its knees.
· Seeing our first, tantalizing glimpse of Snakes on a Plane only makes us want it more.