This image was lost some time after publication.

Oscars 2006:
· We liveblog the Oscars, which goes swingingly until, oh, about 8:23 p.m.
· Charlize Theron's black satin parrot has us transfixed.
· Next they're going to blame Brokeback's loss on some old, confused Jews in Palm Beach.
· Catherine Keener is preoccupied with cell phone five minutes into the ceremony. Turns out, she had a date with Karen O.
· Lip readers of the world rally to their new calling: Figuring out what Tom Hanks was cussing about.
· "Someone stop that former star of Young Doctors in Love!"
· It's her party, and she'll cry if she wants to.
· Put down the dictaphone and serve me the goddamn shrimp Gyoza with Ponzu dipping-sauce.
· And finally, happier times, when Jake Gyllenhaal didn't seem like a brainwashed TelePromTerzoid.
Elsewhere...
 · Teri Hatcher's touched that you're touched that she was touched.
· "I mean c'mon. Do you blame me? She's got a rack worthy of the Trump name!"
· Callin' all large n' lovelies!
· Ladies and gentlemen, Harvey Weinstein, outspoken gay activist.
· Naughty Joans need love, too.