To Do: Your Weekend Of Oscar, Oscar, Oscar

Friday
· If you're important enough to be invited, we don't need to tell you that tonight is ICM philosopher-king Ed Limato's pre-Oscar party. We suggest that if you're not on the list, tie up your boss and torture him until he gives up his invitation. Once you bring out the car battery and the nipple clamps, he'll cave. Trust us. Then make sure you report back to us about how much fun you had.
· Anyone worth knowing has at least a passing interest in attending Lebowski Fest West, tonight at the Knitting Factory and tomorrow at the Cal Bowl in Lakewood. In the Dude we trust.
Saturday
· Music round-up: Blackalicious at the Roxy; Yeah Yeah Yeahs begin their two-night sold out stand at the Troubadour; Van Morrison at the Wiltern.
· The Weinsteins are throwing their party at the Pacific Design Center at 5pm. Don't even bother. The free drinks aren't worth being strangled to death by Harvey should he catch you crashing.
Sunday
· Joe Rogan, now known as the multi-millionaire tae kwan do champ who fights via email with 20-year-old college kids, will be at the Comedy Store. Making millions.
· Hollywood's Biggest Night. Fuck, it's the World's Biggest Night, as over 130 billion people will tune in to watch the entertainment industry collectively break its back in the the largest-scale display of autoeroticism of the year. We'll be liveblogging the ceremony (here's last year's cry for help), so please stop by. Our feelings will be hurt if no one shows up to our party and we're left clutching our laptop in solitude.