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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put sighting or PrivacyWatch in the subject line) and alert society to Matthew McConaughey's suspicious "dropped keys" trick.

In this episode: Kanye West and Kiefer Sutherland; Penelope Cruz and Nicole Richie; David Hasselhoff; Britney Spears, K-Fed, Paris Hilton, Jeremy Piven, Run, Kid, and Bill Maher; Matthew McConaughey; Robert Downey Jr.; Chris Rock; Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck; Helen Hunt; Lucy Liu; Courtney Love, Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi, and Courteney Cox Arquette; Courtney Love and Courteney Cox Arquette; Bai Ling, Gary Dourdan, Kimberly Stewart, and Monica Keena; Rachel Bilson, Andy Dick, and Thomas Ian Nicholas; John Krasinski; Nicolette Sheridan; Taryn Manning; Elizabeth Rohm; Cuba Gooding, Jr; Joseph Gordon Levitt and Hal Sparks; Ian Somerhalder; Tom Ford; Brooke Burke, David Charvet, and Jewel; Tommy Davidson; Charlie O'Connell and Arsenio Hall; Nikki Sixx, Johnnie Morton, and Lori Petty; Clea DuVall and Meschach Taylor; Ben Savage; Peter MacNicol; Bernie Kopell; Gary Coleman; Brandon Davis.

· While I personally was very excited that my girlfriend surprised me with a birthday trip to the Benihana near the Beverly Center on Wednesday night, I had no delusions that it would be a glamorous star-studded affair. So, imagine my surprise when it turned out that not only was a post-Grammy Awards Kanye West there with a large entourage, but, I was also in the presence of Jack Bauer himself, Mr. Kiefer Sutherland. Kiefer was seated with an unidentifiable group of people, one of whom with a child, all of whom gave off a strong "Non-pro" vibe. He was on the phone a fair amount, and on several occasions went outside to talk on the phone — and sneak a cigarette.No one really bothered either one of them too much, but I was definitely surprised that they were seated in the common dining area with the rest of us mere mortals who have neither been engaged to Julia Roberts nor proclaimed on national TV that George Bush hates black people.

· so last week i received my golden ticket and was admitted in teddy's @ the roosevelt hotel. as i headed to the restroom after a number of cocktails, i see penelope cruz talking in spanish to a swishy hairstylist type fella. although many years since spanish class, i was able to understand her concern. she said something along the lines of these ladies in the restroom who were all throwing up. she then went on about how these girls should not drink so much when out and about. the hairstylist retorted something about how they weren't drinking too much but this was a famous hollywood diet. then, right on cue NICOLE RITCHIE and pussy posse pop out of the ladies room as if nothing happened. Can't wait for part 2 of the E! true hollywood story.

· I just saw David Hasselhoff walk by my office in a big building in Century City. I of course followed him to the security desk and the guards were getting his autograph. I asked them where he was going and they didn't tell me but I assume it was to his lawyer's because this building is chock-full of lawyers. He is wearing a GREEN blazer (like the Masters) and white button down shirt and khaki pants and loafers. His skin looks good and his hair looks great. He was very nice about signing autographs. I should have asked for one. Darn. I'm waiting for him to walk back by!!

· After-party for Verizon Wireless Fugees reunion at Avalon. Kanye plays. VIP balcony: Bill Maher, Kid from —nPlay, Run from
—DMC, Jeremy Piven, William Sadler. On the actually somewhat exclusive and closer-to-the-Kanye balconies: stage right, Paris Hilton and face-sucking victim; stage left, Britney w/K-Fed and "her girlfriend" although I don't know what that means, it's what i was told by the guy who spotted her.

· Sure, there's lots of 'em on Runyon, this one's kinda funny. Sunday morning, my wife was hiking the canyon with a girlfriend when they happened upon a shirtless Matthew McConaughey asking everybody he could if they had come across a set of dropped keys. Karma - it's a bitch sometimes...

· Saw Robert Downey Jr. this afternoon (2/3) in the front passenger seat of a silver Mercedes driving along Sunset Blvd. in Brentwood. The car had decals all over it - how gauche. What's worse, there was a hula girl dashboard ornament present. I was horrified, but I couldn't stop staring. He downed what looked like a couple dozen tylenol or something (I'm not implying anything here - it was probably some homeopathic motion sickness medication, judging from the appearance of the driver).

· Chris Rock at Barney's Beverly Hills at 2pm Monday, 1/30. He was alone, wondering around aimlessly on the 4th floor.

· drunkenly rolled into new "it" spot, the Vine Bar on Saturday (04 feb). I was on the verge of dismissing it as a hotspot, cause it was midnight on a weekend and it wasn't even crowded— but then I noticed two familiar faces sharing a booth...it was none other than the Other Man in Black, Joaquin Phoenix, and Violet's Uncle, Casey Affleck. they hung out for a while, smoked outside a bunch, and then took off together, walking up Vine...they're both really short. oh, and Joaquin was eerily dressed like Johnny Cash- black suit, black skinny tie. weird.

· Driving down Robertson on Saturday 2/4, saw HELEN HUNT waiting for her car at The Ivy, post lunch. I doubt I would have realized it was her except that two other women were staring and I was like, "Who are they looking at??" Helen looked okay, maybe 'cause she doesn't really work anymore, does she? Wasn't close enough to see if she still had that really terrible eyebrow wax job or if she finally let them grow out.

· Mon 2/6. Saw Lucy Liu and friend at Laurel Canyon Dog Park. Short and very beautiful. Several people came up to her and forced lamefuck conversations. She was gracious with all, even the fat kid who made her say hi to his mom on a cell.

· #1 I knew it must be an award show day when I couldn t get my usual outside table at the Chateau on Sunday. Apparently, celebs only for sunshine before the SAG awards. Courtney Love and Francis Bean, Courtney trying to act like a loving mom, rubbing the Bean s back while Francis squirms away and gives her mom the you killed my dad, I m 14, get away from me in public look. Heath Ledger and wife. The blonde Olson wearing exactly the same clothes I saw her in at Il Sole last week.
#2 Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi eat at the counter, downstairs coffee shop, Beverly Hills Hotel. Brunch time. There was as odd 15 minute vanishing between the ordering and the eating that left their two un-touched and quickly cooling meals on the counter. Ellen always looks younger and better in person than on TV, bright, clean and smiley. Wish the same could be said about Porsche.
#3 Courteney Cox at her favorite West Hollywood haunt, Il Sole, with friends, not husband, as usual. Sitting at the next table was divorce lawyer to the stars (including Nick Lachay) Laura Wasser. Fear not, they were not talking to each other about dropping fashion zero David. Or how Jessica is going to get a worse ass-fucking from Laura than she did from Johnny Knoxville.

· So Sunday 22nd I was chatting witht eh nice assistant in Marc Jacobs on Melrose who s friends with We Are Scientists, and as we re doing the jaw about indie-rock in general who should walk in but Indie Rock General Courtney Love. Double points for Francis Bean being there. Francis seems well-adjusted and cool as shit. Courtney seemed crackers. Wednesday 25th, Il Sole on Sunset, I was the happy filling in a charming three-way fame-sandwich. Courteney Cox Arquette to my left, eating surprisingly-normal-sized portions, and Chris Rock to my right. Fine, you say, so what, you say, but then Chris Rock and his indie-director-looking mate leave and Al Pacino and his party take their table. Whammo!

· So I get my VIP tickets to Peapod, and am so excited to go... Especially when I got thate and was so focused on the delight that is Gary Dourdan, that I barely had time to notice that for once I couldn't see Bai Ling's vagina through what she was wearing. Kimberly Stewart looked like her own worst nightmare, but smiled a lot, and intelli-horror director Chris Fisher was as smokin' as he always is. Monica Keena looked as adorable as ever, jumping up and down, surrounded by a stellar looking gaggle of gays.

· Here are my sightings of the week:
— Rachel Bilson and a bevvy of 10 female hotties last Monday night seen entering Velvet Margerita Cantina on Cahuenga after parking at the valet behind Hotel Cafe.
— Andy Dick and two small children at Barnes and Nobles at the grove riding up the escalator on Sunday.
— Thomas Ian Nicholas and 2 buddies looking at apartments at The Palazzo at Park La Brea on Sunday.

· Saturday night at Cafe Stella in Silverlake saw John Krasinski ("Jim" from "The Office") having a guys-night-out dinner with friends. That's all there is to report; he's cute and well dressed

· i saw devon aoki upstairs in the collection at gucci, telling the sales associate that what she had purchased last week had been too
small. he was flustered... then, i saw nicolette sheridan exiting louis vuitton in a cute pink trench sans shopping bag - no spending?

· Feb 1. Just when you think you've seen it all, TARYN MANNING enters the $7.99 all-you-can-eat lunch buffet at El Torito, Ocean Park. At 75 pounds max, she'll be able to fit into a Size 1 if she eats there every day this month.

· A smoking hot Elizabeth Rohm (once the latest bright-eyed fuckable ADA on Law and Order) wandering around Long s Drugs on Ventura and Laurel Canyon (yes in the, gasp, valley). Big sunglasses, perfect, just-done hair, and long (rather thick, but in a good way, a Jamie Foxx way?) legs. She was wearing very high wooden heels, which made her around 6 feet. She was loudly gabbing on her cell phone in a sultry, street way that made her seem, for a moment, like perhaps a high priced hooker rather than an up and coming starlet. She also walked with a swagger didn t buy she ever spent a day at law school, even online! She was so loud she could be heard all the way across the store. But no, alas, she wasn t shopping for a pregnancy test.

· rod tidwell, a.k.a. cuba gooding jr. at Q's on the westside. i was there celebrating a friend's birthday, and saw the man who refused to quit on tom cruise. he was smaller than i expected, but still had that big fake smile on his face. he was talking to some pretty average looking people, and i think he was wearing black jeans. is there anything sadder than an academy award-winning actor at a pool bar on a monday night?

· Had a rare double-sighting at Mao s Kitchen in Venice the other night. First I saw Joseph Gordon Levitt of 3rd Rock fame sitting with some hipster types. Then at the table next to him was Hal Sparks, who was alternating between chatting loudly with his table and sticking his tongue down the throat of his female companion. (I totally thought he was gay, even before he did Queer as folk.)

· Just saw Ian Somerhalder leaving Gold's Gym in Venice (2/3). Looked like you'd expect Boone to look: shaggy and pretty.

· Tom Ford and Richard Buckley dining with a third male at the Tower Bar Saturday night. The trio leave in a four door Jaguar. You d be tempted to go with Jag s new ad campaign and agree that Gorgeous gets in everywhere... but he (or one of the trio) was so doused in cologne that my date was driven to say stinky is never good.

· It must've been celebrity day at Prive last Thursday (1/26). First, Brooke Burke brought in her mom and both of them got their hair did. She was flanked by David Charvet, who had that perfectly cultivated face-growth-but-not-quite-a-beard look, and walked around the place like he owned it (which he might, who fucking knows? But I was left thinking it's so cute when pretty people know that they're pretty.) Nothing to report on Brooke, really, except that she's looking a little face sharp — but still very pretty — and she wore the dreaded Uggs. Also in the salon, Jewel. She's lost a lot of weight, which is worrisome considering she wasn't big to begin with. Had a cuddly little dog sitting on her lap the whole time that everyone wanted to go over and pet despite her "back the fuck off" vibe.

· sorta celeb sighting: went to kabuki in woodland hills (2/2/06) with my boyfriend and ran into comic: tommy davidson (mad tv) . he looked familiar but couldn't figure it out until my bf said his name.(had to go home and IMDB him) perhaps he was jonesing for some half price sushi.

· Friday 2/3: Just had my first-ever lunch at the Ivy. I was seated near the entrance, so I only saw comings and goings. I'm pleased to report that the Bachelor's Charlie O'Connell and his teensy girlfriend — who were actually just walking, arm-in-arm, in front of the restaurant — are still together. (I still think he should have chosen Krisily, the scrappy swan princess from Rhode Island. Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about.) Also, my dining companion tells me that the Philadelphia Eagles' own Donovan McNabb was there. Finally, I saw Arsenio Hall saying goodbye to a friend-type woman. He was dressed in a very brightly-colored suit. The women at the table next to us thought they were looking at Wesley Snipes. Awesome.

· 1/30 Motley Crue s Nikki Sixx, with a 35mm camera slung over his shoulder at Samy s Camera on Venice Blvd. talking about going to the desert to take photos. 1/25 While working out at Gold s Gym in Venice, the strangest two people were sharing workout tips. Wide receiver for the 49ers, Johnnie Morton and Tank Girl Lori Petty.

· Clea DuVall lit my cigarette at Spaceland in Silverlake last Thursday night for what was the last night of the Mellowdrone residency. Smaller in person than I thought, blond hair, surrounded by pretty girls who hung on her every word, sat in the smoking area all night. My friend said I should have said "I loved you in The Faculty" but I chickened out. Also Meschach Taylor (Hollywood from Mannequin) at the Coffee Bean on Sunset wearing a red tracksuit having an intense conversation with some guy.

· (2/1): Ben Savage at Barney's today at 330. The gay co-op workers complained about the tshirt he returned that was covered in deoderent stains.

· Last night (1/31) I was dining at Soup Plantation in Pasadena when my fianc pointed out Peter MacNicol dining by himself. I couldn't find my glasses before we left the house so I would have guessed that if the blurry figure was anyone famous it was Tony Shalhoub wearing the bright red 80s style windbreaker about five tables down from us. Fifteen minutes later my fianc got up to get more food and his absence from the seat across from me revealed that the man in the booth behind us was seriously choking. He had a wife who was trying to do the Heimlich maneuver but I felt some sort of responsibility to come to his aid as well. A server was behind me and I asked her if she knew CPR, for a split second thinking "food service workers must be trained in that sort of thing right?" Then I remembered that I was a waiter for five years and never received such training. The choking man and his wife were making quite a commotion and I remembered the recent Defamer postings about Marcia Cross coming to the aid of a passenger on the Southwest flight and didn't Tom Cruise save someone recently too? So my next logical thought was "a real life celebrity is in our midst, he will surely know how to help the man!" Unfortunately Mr. MacNicol continued to stare into his food and didn't notice anything. The choking man's wife was the hero, he was fine, and I ate nothing but soup for the rest of the meal.

· I went below-decks at the Century City Mall yesterday evening, to Gelson's, and saw Get Smart/Love Boat star Bernie Kopell shopping like the rest of us! He rocked his same Love Boat glasses and had on khakis and a blue blazer. It was like he jumped out of a t.v., he looked so familiar. Bernie was smiling and looked great.

· I saw Gary Coleman at Disneyland on Friday, Feb. 3. I almost mowed him over while walking around without my glasses on, and since I was looking straight ahead, he, of CashCall infamy, did not appear in my line of sight. He was looking "inconspicuous" in black cowboy hat and orange t-shirt, apparently looking for a seat for the afternoon parade.

· 2/1 Spotted Brandon Davis with two dudes of the same ilk chain smoking in front of the movie theater at The Grove. He was profusely sweating while he panned other shoppers hoping they recognized him. His head is massive.