Cannes Director Sticks Uma Thurman With His Honorable Pin
In dubbing Uma Thurman a "knight in the Order of Arts and Letters" today, Cannes Film Festival Director Gilles Jacob did a marvelous job at demonstrating how the French have literally elevated the practice of the sleazy come-on to the realm of high art:
"We welcome Uma Thurman, a model-actress, admired throughout the world and especially in our country, France," said Cannes Film Festival Director Gilles Jacob. He presented the award to Thurman on behalf of the country's Culture Ministry.
Thurman's career "would make her the favorite actress of an entire generation," he said. [...]"The public discovered your grace and sensuality," Jacob said, outlining Thurman's acting career that began on a New York stage when she was 16. [...]
Jacob hailed the 35-year-old actress as a "classic and disconcerting beauty," a "femme fatale" and a "dreamy creature" before pinning a medal on her black Christian Dior jacket.
While Jacob's fawning, Pep Le Pew-like presentation notes would indicate that this honor has its origins not in the hearts of the French people, but rather in the pants of its bestower, we wish Thurman a hearty congratulations nonetheless. However, should she be contacted in the near future by Jacob's people excitedly informing her she's been selected to receive The Most Illustrious Order of Dreamy Creaturedom, to be presented that evening in a private ceremony in his hotel suite, we can't recommend she show up for the tribute.
