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Sure, cheery manifestos touting "Creative Excellence" and "Reinvention" are nice, but any CEO worth his weight in stock options knows that the only real way to ease the transition of a corporate schism is to lubricate the path to acceptance with a delicious ice cream treat. We've also received word of free Krispy Kremes, Jamba Juice, and a coffee cart on the Paramount lot this morning, which no doubt helped employees mask the sickly butterflies of impending "corporate overhead" reductions with pleasant sugar and caffeine buzzes.

[Clarification: The ice cream was being distributed at a Viacom office off the Paramount lot. Sorry for any confusion that may have led any Melrose Avenue-based employees on a wild goose chase.]