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· This just in! Paramount buys DreamWorks. Layoffs to follow, which should cover costs of having their stationery changed to The New New Paramount.
· Brad Pitt has adopted Angelina Jolie's children as his own. Hopefully he won't get sick of them the way he did Frank Gehry and drop them after two meetings and a dinner.
· Mel Gibson will direct a Holocaust miniseries for ABC, leading Australian press to discover "blogs."
· 'Tis the season of giving (crappy, most probably worthless) presents to agency assistants!
· The week in Sony: Amy Pascal goes gaga for Geisha at the premiere, ignoring the growing international controversy over the film's cultural grab bag cast. Who can blame her? The whole thing might be someone else's headache any second now.
· Pub trivia night fans: consider yourselves warned.
· Britney Spears throws her no-good husband out, repos his Ferrari, cuts off his credit line, and, perhaps most shocking of all, turns his background dance studio into a mirrored playroom. Cold, woman, cold.
· Disney's Anne Sweeney is named Most Powerful Woman in Hollywood by THR for the second year in a row. The scorned lower rung entrants plot their revenge, soon to be loosely fictionalized in a bitchy chick flick-lit novel.
· Frodo Baggins weighs in with a Narnia review and dental diagnosis.
· The fate of Tookie Williams weighing heavily on the Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger seeks out the wisdom of the Barney's shoe department for guidance ("Prada moccasins, he lives. Gucci loafers, he dies.").
· Jennifer Aniston threatens to sue if topless photos of her are leaked. The photographer offers a "would you believe..." defense to make Maxwell Smart proud.
· Ben Stiller takes neurotic Jewdom to fearless new heights.
· Spielberg's single pre-Munich interview gives us a strong indication that he's avoiding the press probably because he's sick of hearing people complain about his movies.
· Nicole Richie, DJ AM and Us magazine decide to call it quits, with Us claiming "it has grown as a magazine and wants different things."