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In what is easily the greatest weekly assembly of sightings we've ever done (Tom and Katie! Ralphie and the Swingers Boys! Knoxville and Lohan! Winona! Pacino!), we had a hard choice picking a lead PW. Enjoy them all: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes; Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, and Peter Billingsley; Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson; Winona Ryder and Matthew Perry; Johnny Knoxville and Lindsay Lohan; Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher; Al Pacino and Adam Goldberg; Paul Thomas Anderson and Maya Rudolph; K-Fed and Amanda Scheer-Demme; Jane Fonda and Danny Moder; Kirsten Dunst; Jake Gyllenhaal; Arnold Schwarzenegger and Brooke Shields; Annette Bening and Neil Patrick Harris; Kiefer Sutherland; Whoopi Goldberg; Ray Liotta; Bill Paxton; Milla Jovovich and Larry David; Felicity Huffman, Pink, Kelly Lynch, Mel B, and Paulo Costanzo; Sandra Oh; Patrick Dempsey; Adam Brody; Adam Brody, Zach Braff, Mandy Moore, and Donald Faison; Timothy Olyphant; Johnny Knoxville; Dax Shepard; Nick Lachey; Adam Goldberg; Tom Arnold; Shannon Elizabeth; Michael Penn, Aimee Mann, and Torry Castellano; Bryan Greenberg; Emmanuelle Chriqui; an Olsen twin; a Wilmer Valderrama; Sara Gilbert; Zoe McLellan; Alfonso Ribeiro; Jeff Lynne and Mindy Kaling.

· Ok — so I'm sitting at The Ivy (12/1) after a disastrous night of Zumanity and Divine Design, and who should walk in, but the sparkly shirted, maddeningly svelte-legged pregnant Katie Holmes-almost-Cruise (ordered a Caesar salad — what she was thinking with all the raw egged garlicky-ness, I have no idea...) and a surprisingly less than stupefying Tom Cruise-almost-Hubbard (Crab cakes, well done).

· In the high limit poker room at the Bicycle Casino Saturday night, saw made swingers Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau with their pal, A Christmas Story's Peter Billingsley. Vaughn was in no danger of getting anybody stabbed (remember that bar fight where Steve Buscemi tried to play peacemaker?), accommodating every 'fan' with a gracious smile. He actually managed to keep playing hold 'em while telling pushy admirers 'The Break-Up, Summer 2006' and having camera phone pics taken 2 inches from his face. (Prompting Billingsley to announce, "Vince, I've got the worst picture of you on my phone. That one of you and Jen..." Vaughn shot quite a look at his buddy Pete, who quickly clammed up about the somewhat still clandestine romance with Aniston.) When Billingsley was contemplating a call, I really wanted someone to tell the grump, "I double dog dare you." Little Ralphie and Vaughn walked out in a huff after some bad beats, but no-he-doesn't-look-that-fat-in-real-life Favreau left with a huge pile of chips and a polite wave to the other players.

· After weeks of sending you guys nothing but bottom-of-the-barrel D-List sightings, sweet redemption has finally come my way. This past Saturday afternoon I spotted the Butterscotch Stallion himself, Owen Wilson doing laps up and down the grueling Santa Monica Steps. It was awesome, because he looked like he just stepped off the runway in "Zoolander" as his alter-ego, Hansel. His hair was done is that impossibly perfect shag you see on the billboards (I kid you not-it was immaculate), he sported hippie-esque workout clothes (tye-dyed T-Shirt and baggy shorts), and was wearing what looked like bright-blue weighted gloves. My gal and I were so paralyzed by our good fortune we actually stopped at the top to get another look.

· So just before the fake chemical snow fell from the benevolent sky atop the Grove last Sunday night, my girlfriend and I had a prolonged encounter with Winona Ryder in the Barnes and Noble magazine section. We had just fled into the store after an attention-deprived Matthew Perry held court in front of the fountain, and just escaped throngs of pervs lined up to grab a peak at Rachael Ray signing her latest book. (Thankfully the foodie famous for teaching us how to make those oh-so-difficult sandwiches and steaks in just 30 minutes didn't look too cracked out.) Winona, however, appeared scared as she darted from one end of the store's first floor to another with a stack of CDs in hand. I felt bad for her. She was tiny, extremely vulnerable-seeming, wearing a black peacoat and black Sherlock Holmes hat. And while she peered through Interview magazine, my girlfriend stood next to her. That is, until my girlfriend looked up, and saw Winona staring at her from behind her mag. At which point my girlfriend shot her an annoyed look, then returned to her reading, and Winona eventually left, brushing up against my girlfriend's back for no apparent reason. A few moments later, Winona met a very tall man outside the store and walked towads the Farmer's Market. She finally seemed happy. Someone had actually treated her like she wasn't famous.

· Just to put all the Johnny Knoxville/Jessica Simpson talk away for five minutes. There was a Johnny Knoxville sighting at the Troubadour last Monday. It was a free night with a couple of local bands but who shows up with Johnny Knoxville with none other than Lindsay Lohan. He proceeds to try & buy her drinks the whole night while the staff tells him repeatedly, no she is underage. I guess he got what he came for without the drinks as they then proceeded to make out in the front bar at the end of the night. Just writing this feels as creepy as those two together.

· Ali G himself, Sacha Baron Cohen at Campanile last Saturday night. Looking very Borat-esque, Cohen came in with his super hot wife (?) Isla Fisher. They sat for about five minutes, then got up and left. They didn't seem to be angry or anything, just walked out. But Ali forgot his coat and had to come back for it and embarrassingly face the sad waiter who wanted to know why they were leaving. Cohen said that Isla had just gotten off of a plane. Not sure how that's an excuse to get out of dinner but whatever. My friends think it might have been our whisper campaign at the table next to his to let all ten of us know a celeb was in our midsts.

· Today (12/5) I'm at the Majestic Car Wash on Third, getting (what else?) my horrifyingly dirty car washed and I'm sitting out on the patio waiting when I notice a man sitting in front of me who is pretty clearly trying NOT to be noticed. Too bad. The dark wrap shades, scruffy beard and messy hair immediately bring my celebrity antennae to attention. I know immediately, it's Adam Goldberg. Replete with cowboy boots, denim western shirt and tight jeans, Goldberg is whispering into his Blackberry, grasping a grocery bag full of Armorall Wipes (he must not trust the employees to do the job) and nuzzling his tiny, nervous dog that is persistently growling at everyone and everything from the safety of his owner's lap. I'm totally bored so I try to predict what car he's waiting for. There's a plethora of German cars being dried and polished, but I eventually settle on the Volvo SUV. Nope. He gets into a Mercury Marauder. I almost laughed out loud. Instead I settled for a quiet snort to myself. And THEN, last Thursday (12/1) I'm wandering the WeHo target when I notice a short man standing in the music aisle with crazy big hair, like, almost literally standing on end. Then I notice the baggy striped pants and long, raggy jacket and I think, o.k., it's a homeless person. He slowly turns around, as if looking for someone. Totally not a homeless person. It's Al Pacino. Dude, if you don't want to be noticed in public, don't wear sunglasses indoors and do run a comb through your hair.

· Sat near Paul Thomas Anderson and Maya Rudolph @ the Kanye West show on Saturday night. They seemed really cool and into the show, although PTA was a little too much of an awkward white boy to really get into it (takes one to know one, i guess). Maya kept sitting down, because I guess she just had his baby. She wasn't wearing any makeup, but she still looked great.

· Last week I ran into Kevin Federline at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Judgmental girl that I am, I was expecting K-Fed to be slovenly and loathsome, but he was actually quite charming in a countrified sort of way. He’s about 5’8” with a killer smile. Amanda Scheer-Demme, nightlife arbitrator, deems the Valley worthy of visiting for her caffeine cravings. She was seen leaving the Studio City Starbucks on Ventura this morning in her trademark ultra-fancy running shoes, clutching a venti beverage and some carb-o-licious snacks. “She must come here often,” said an observer. “She was chatting it up with a couple of thirtysomething regulars before she left.”

· Wednesday, 12/7, a date that shall live in infamy, around 10am. Unbearably slow gas pumps at the Westwood and Olympic Mobil station allowed me plenty of time to ogle celebrity-adjacent Danny Moder as he filled the tank of his light green Range Rover (with obligatory surfboard strapped to the roof). Paced around nervously and talked on his cell phone. Seemed aware of being stared at/recognized. He's gorgeous in that sleepy unwashed way that the ladies (and sometimes, inconveniently, more than one lady at a time) seem to like. His car was unwashed too. Monday, 12/5, at Hamasaku Sushi on Santa Monica and Sepulveda, the place with the starf***er menu with rolls named after celebs (including the now-outdated Elisha and Trace roll): none other than Jane Fonda, on crutches. Big hair.

· Unsatisfied with my original seats (even if they were behind a handsome and beautifully dressed Tom Selleck) my friends and i decided to take a lap and get a coke. As we ventured out we spotted the hippest lady hipster ever to be at the USC/UCLA game (and that’s saying something). Even though it looked like Mary Kate’s closet throw up on her, we approached tiny tight tapered jeans as we noticed she and her posse were leaving (mid way through the first quarter!) with field passes. I cut them off at the exit, realized it was Kirsten Dunst and asked for their passes. She had that Crazy/Beautiful homegirl needs a shower type look going on but could not have been nicer and gave up all the loot. We took our passes to the field which was littered with celebs, sports superstars and ex-cons. We were greeted by the head of USC’s Parents Club, Henry Winkler who promptly asked us “if we smelled roses” (he gave us a good Fonz wink too!) and took a picture with The Game who was wearing a diamond medallion the size of my head.

· So I had a friend in town yesterday and we went to Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills to do a little Christmas shopping at normal-people stores (you know Pottery Barn, Gap). As we're winding down our day, disappointed but not really suprised we hadn't had a bona fide celebrity sighting all day, we pop into Crate and Barrel to pick out some reasonably priced specialized kitchen tools. As we are leaving the store, who crosses our path but he of the "Brokeback Mountain" fusion core — yes, a bearded, be-capped Jake Gyllenhaal. He kept his eyes to the floor and shuffled quickly over to the holiday cookbook section. He's much better looking in person, and I really must say I was charmed by his solo shopping — no entourage in sight!

· Saw Arnold Schwarzenegger and his kids shopping in the handbag dept. at Barney's Beverly Hills store Saturday afternoon. I think Maria might be getting a new purse for Christmas - shhh. Also at Barney's, Brooke Shields with her very cute daughter on her hip making her way through the cosmetics department.

· Saturday night: Doogie Howser... I mean Neil Patrick Harris eatin'and a-drinkin' at Marix, West Hollywood. Sunday Afternoon: Annette Bening, and Obie her dog at Laurel Canyon Dog park.

· ended up hanging around with Kiefer Sutherland on wednesday night (30 nov 05) when he came to King King to see some guy called Rocco play. Keifer was: short, dressed normally, super early for the show and smoking a lot. he paid to get in even though he was on the list and hung out after they played. he favored Jack on the rocks and bought rounds for everyone. when he asked how I was doing at one point, I replied "I'm wonderful". he proceeded to call me "Wonderful" for the rest of the night. hes kinda cute.

· Miss Celie! Miss Celie! Miss Celie! Was Xmas shopping last night (12/6) at Best Buy in West Hollywood. When we were trying to get out, there was a little traffic jam as Whoopi Goldberg was trapped in front of us with a cart full of goodies being accosted by a fan for an autograph. She seemed really nice and gracious despite the fact that she probably just wanted to lug this stuff to the car and go home.

· Saw MILLA JOVOVICH chain smoking outside at Mel's Diner on Sunday afternoon and then went to pick up a perscription at Sav On in Pacific Palisades and saw LARRY DAVID walking around with a little girl (niece?) I felt like I was watching CURB live...

· Enduring my obligatory, Saturday mid-brunch hour hike in Runyon Canyon and coveting every pug, french and english bulldog in sight, I fixed my eyes on a partifularly cute english bulldog with a star-studded collar. Attached to its leash was a platinum blond with a raspy voice, who I soon realized was the singer, Pink. She is actually tinier than she looks on-camera, although kind of scary and reptilian. PS, she shouldn't wear mesh tanktops sans brassieres while hiking in public. Further down the trail, my boyfriend admitted to having caught sight of a stray nipple in passing, and, according him, they don't match her name. Not two minutes later, I almost walked smack dab into a blast from my girl powah past: Mel B, aka Scary Spice, was busy hiking up the big hill, seemingly rather winded. I suppressed a giggle when she asked a fellow hiker about heir dog in that slightly cockney-twanged voice. She looks pretty much the same as she did on my little sister's "Spice World" poster circa 1998, albeit a tad more sedate, and is currently sporting vibrant cranberry streaks in her wild, signature, Sideshow Bob coif. Getting coffee in Larchmont Village the next day and sighing as I passed Cafe du Village, longing for their chocolate crossaints that aren't on the mid-holiday diet menu, I spotted William H. Macy's favorite desperate housewife, Felicity Huffman and her two kids having breakfast at a table out front. She looked great, very fit, and was dressed in the sporty, soccer mom uniform of a ballcap, yoga pants and fleece. Much to my disappointment, Mr. H. Macy was nowhere to be found, and I am happy to report that neither of the Huffman-Macy spawns mirror the memorable Macy mug. Later that afternoon, in need of cheap replacement sunglasses, I logically headed to the flea market at Melrose and Fairfax. Outside the gates, I passed "Roadhouse" actress/"L Word" drag king/In Style magazine fashion benefit photospread regular Kelly Lynch, her toned arms full of shopping bags. She looks great for her age, shorter than I imagined, and her hair would give Gwyneth Paltrow's fashionable corn silk locks a run for their money. Finally, stopping at Trader Joes later that evening for a chocolate-laden Advent calendar, I noticed this smug looking, slightly hipster kid looking around the checkout area beside me, obviously trying to see if anyone "recognized" him. I immediately placed him as Paulo Costanzo, that kid from "Joey," but who I will always remember as the Goldblumian character from "Roadtrip." Sadly, I think I am the only one who recognized him, but maybe that's because I'm the only person who actually liked "Roadtrip," and I don't know anyone who watches "Joey." Do you?

· Sunday Dec. 4 at Whole Foods in Santa Monica. While waiting in line for some sesame tofu, I noticed a very disheveled, deranged looking woman racing through the aisles and talking to herself. If it wasn't the crazy french woman, Danielle, from Lost. I wanted to ask her what the hell is the Dharma Initiative, but feared she'd pull a shotgun on me and steal my baby, who ironically, is named Alex. Wednesday Nov. 30 at Golds Gym in Venice. While trying to work off the last 10 pounds of baby weight, I saw a sweaty, somewhat soft-around-the-middle Ray Liotta heading towards the free weights. Sadly, father time has not been to kind to Mr. Goodfella.....

· Sorry for the late news on this one - was having a nice dinner on the patio at Orso on 11/11 with my family when none other than Bill "GAME OVER MAN" Paxton arrived with his whole family. Had to be celebrating his dad's birthday or something. I told my girlfriend he was there and she had no clue who I was talking about, despite my "Take us back to Titanic!" and "How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray" clues. Finally she got it and shouted "BILL PAXTON!" right at him one table away. He either didn't notice or is an old pro around his fam. Even my mom recognized him. He needs a haircut, by the way.

· Sandra Oh and a male companion (Dec. 2, Friday) outside the movie theater at the Grove, of course. Standing in full Yes, It's Me, I'm On TV, So What? Please Don't Stare mode, directly in front of the doors, yet making no attempt to move. She was wearing glasses and had slightly wild hair. Very pretty in person. Lots of acknowledging looks and whispers but nobody bothered her.

· In line at the Alcove today and saw Grey's Anatomy heartthrob Patrick Dempsey. Wasn't sure if it was him at first, and then he looked up and I saw his eyes. I instantly wished myself in Ellen Pompeo's shoes. I'd play doctor with him any day of the week!

· Yet another sighting of Adam Brody at the Coffee Bean (12/1). He was giving an interview, which was cool to witness because he was very animated and talked with his hands a lot. It was freezing outside (well, at least for a native Californian), so he had his sleeves pulled over his hands and sat hunched a little bit. He was wearing that Marc Jacobs sweater that he's been seen in a few times (the maroon one with white stripes). No Rachel in sight, though. I snapped a picture, but didn't want to invade his privacy. (So instead, I
just out his hangout locations on a high-traffic site. Great.)

· I went to go check out Nathanial Castro's solo gig at the Hotel Café on 12/6. To my surprise, Zach Braff and Mandy Moore were sitting at a reserved table on the side of the room. (Which, btw, they were totally cute and kissed and rocked out and made fun of the girl on the cell phone and generally had a really good time together.) Later I see Zach Braff get really, really excited. What would cause this reaction? His best friend, Donald Faison! Zach apparently didn't know he was going to show up because he looked so excited/thrilled. OK, seriously, that's it. Right? No more famous people? Wrong. Nathanial's bandmate Bret Harrison showed up with none other than, that's right, Adam Brody. Yes, Adam Brody, again (this is my second time running into him in one week).

· Saw Timothy Olyphant in the lobby of Staples Center on Saturday 12/3 after the Clippers/Cleveland Cavs game....was really nice, accepted handshakes and 'love Deadwood' comments from b/f and me. Looks skinny...maybe Seth Bullock is sick this season?

&midditl Johnny Knoxville in line next to me and my guy at the David Allan Coe show at the Key Club. I think he bought a thong, I could be wrong on that. He was really nice, but I had no idea who he was until my guy explained it later. LOL

· Sunday 12/4: Spotted Punk'd alum Dax Shepard with blond lady companion having dinner in a corner booth at Fred 62's around 7:30. He's very tall and had his black Kangol-like cap pulled low as he waited for the toilet. Putting out a "keep your distance" vibe, but generally amiable. He seemed as annoyed with the unsupervised table of tots as the rest of us were.

· Ventured into the Valley last night (12/6) for a stop at Casa Vega. I had a strange sense that there was celebrity within before I even opened the front door. I crossed my fingers and wished for Brangelina (the "holy grail" of sightings), but a quick scan of the room revealed that I would have to make due with Nick Lachey. He was sitting in a booth with two other guys, one of whom looked very much like Trace Ayala, possibly debunking that whole Jessica/Trace dating rumor. I kept wishing for some Casa Vega floozie to jump into his lap, but alas, it just looked like a low-key guy's dinner. The most intriguing part about this sighting is that Nick didn't glance up from his plate even once while Ashlee Simpson's Billboard Music Awards performance played right in front of him on the bar TVs.

I went to the Grove (11/20) to look for a weekend/overnight bag to take with me for thanksgiving. I never found a bag, but we did see Adam Goldberg carrying a black chihuahua nestled under his left arm and *tons* of shopping bags from J Crew slung over his right shoulder. He seemed really high strung, I mean, from listening to how he was talking to the woman he was with (not Christina Ricci, in case you were wondering).

· Did some Christmas shopping Saturday on Robertson and popped into the swanky new Williams-Sonoma Home Store around the corner on Beverly, only to find Tom Arnold and blond wife "consulting" with the store's managers on redecorating his Encino manse. He looked older than I'd have thought, and also slightly more sophisticated than I would have thought (probably it was the glasses).

· I saw Shannon Elizabeth in Starbucks at Sunset and Gower today [12/2] getting a soy somethin'-or-another. As is often the case with famous folk, she looked a bit off in person — a bulbous, yet bony head with googly eyes that may as well have been on the end of antennae for how far they protruded, and scarecrow scrawniness. She had the same blank smile as a dog that's about to be euthanized. I don't know exactly what that means, but if she comes down with rabies in the near future, I'm going to start telling fortunes at Starbucks.

· Went to see Andy Kindler and Dan Mintz at UCB on Friday (12/2) and in the crowd were no less than 3 music celebrities: Went to see Andy Kindler and Dan Mintz at UCB on Friday (12/2) and in the crowd were no less than 3 music celebrities: Michael Penn, Aimee Mann, and the drummer from The Donnas, Torry Castellano (a.k.a. Donna C.). Which just proves my theory that alternative musicians love alternative comedy. (a.k.a. Donna C.). Which just proves my theory that alternative musicians love alternative comedy.

· Quiet night at the downtown ultra-hipster spot, Broadway Bar last Thursday (12/1) and hiding under a hat, I see dreamy Bryan Greenberg of One Tree Hill and Unscripted non-fame and more recently, the yummy boy that Uma Thurman gets to dine on in Prime. I hope Santa delivers him to me for Hanukah. He was there with Dragon from Unscripted and who I can only assume was a Bollywood star (or the Indian Hugh Hefner) b/c the Sayeed from Lost wannabe had a bevy of gorgeous Indian women with him.

· Staying close to home, nursing a ridiculous hangover Sunday morning over breakfast at Cafe 101 with my boyfriend, spotted "In The Mix"'s Emmanuelle Chriqui enjoying breakfast with writer/director Eric Amadio (fellow Beachwoodian) and a good looking actor-type guy. Emmanuelle looked totally cute in a puma zip up, red cap, and boots I would kill for, not literally...well maybe. Both guys looked hot, dressed in Sunday casual. They seemed to be having alot of fun for a Sunday morning and were very non-Hollywood.

· Tonight at the Beverly Hills Polo Lounge (Sunday 12/4) an Olsen Twin walked through like a Ring Wraith (AKA "Black Riders" to those are not fluent in Geek), surrounded by approx. five guys — your typical scrubby Strokes/equivalent boy band cast-offs. I feel bad saying this since I too am an identical twin, but I have no earthly idea which OT it was. The posse sat outside and smoked while us sentimental saps made olde timey requests to the pianist.

· Wilmer Valderrama seen @ USC campus... USC/UCLA Bonfire

· Saw Sara Gilbert at Kings Road Café on 12/4. Has she changed at all since the last episode of Roseanne? She was with her partner and baby in a stroller sitting outside by the front door. Seemed very quiet until an SUV pulled up in front with a group of her lady friends who cooed and fussed over the baby.

· I saw Zoe McLellan from JAG having a bottle of wine with a MUCH younger guy at Luna Park on La Brea and Beverly in LA, on Tueday night, 12/6. She was still there with him when I left with my girlfriends, after they closed.

· I saw Alfonso Ribeiro, Carlton from "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," at Ralphs on Ventura and Vineland last week. He looks the same as he did back in his Fresh Prince days, a little older, a little puffier. He is quite short, maybe like 5'6" - if even that tall. I did get a little sad and wondered what happened to him? So, I looked him up on imdb and he has been directing some TV shows. I felt relieved to know he was still working, even if it's directing "Cuts."

· Some low-wattage star sightings: former Travelling Wilbury Jeff Lynne roaming around the bar at the Four Seasons on Wednesday night (11/30) wearing a blonde on his arm, his trademark curly mop and shades, yes shades on, inside at night. Also saw The Office's comedic bit player Mindy Kaling (also 40 Year Old Virgin, Curb Your Enthusiasm) at Joan's on Third Sunday afternoon (12/4). She wasn't really that funny while I stood behind her in line. But then I thought of the "Diversity Day" episode and laughed to myself.