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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are authored by our readers, and rarely spell-checked by our editor; send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “sighting” or “PrivacyWatch” in the subject line) and let the world know that Rob Reiner still gets excited about his movie posters.

In today's typically jam-packed, Grovetastic episode: Maura Tierney and Mischa Barton; Rob Reiner; Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire; Jake Gyllenhaal; Kirsten Dunst, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Chiklis, and Gabrielle Union; Kirsten Dunst, Hilary Duff, and Milo Ventimiglia; Eric Bana, Debi Mazar, and Regis Philbin; Drew Barrymore and John Hensley; Mandy Moore; Keanu Reeves and Pat O'Brien; Dennis Quaid and Patricia Wettig; Eva Mendes, Ron Perlman, and Justin Chambers; Andy Richter; Jason Lee and Danny Masterson; Erika Christensen; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale; Kevin Smith and kd lang; Kimberly Stewart; Nicole Richie and DJ AM; David Spade; Mila Kunis; Keri Russell; Anderson Cooper; Anderson Cooper, Mary Steenburgen, and Ted Danson; Timothy Olyphant, Gulager!, and Steve Valentine; Rebecca DeMornay and David Hasselhoff'; Richard Kind, Donald Faison, and David Deluise; Bob Saget; Andy Dick; Larry Miller, John Tesh, and Connie Sellecca; Brian Austin Green, David Arquette, and Joely Richardson; Eddie Cibrian and Tracee Ellis Ross; Charles Shaughnessy and Edward James Olmos; Kevin Richardson; Ted Casablanca.

· Saw Maura Tierney (12/1, Thurs) in Starbucks at Larchmont. She ordered two hot Grandes and looked normal (to define: a perfect look that falls between quietly beautiful and rabidly hot) in dark jeans and a black tee. While waiting for her coffees, MT politely interrupted two girls in expensive sunglasses who were talking about dirty cussin' in Croatian. MT mentioned that a friend of hers was from Croatia (Goran much?) They were all laughing when MT dropped her car keys on the employee side of the coffee-reception counter. She blushed sweetly and was gracious to the employee who returned the keys (craned my neck: shiny, silver BMW with dealer plates), then held the door open for her new friendly-friends. They chatted on the street for a while after that, and I watched in TVstarsarenormal!!!! shock. What a classy dame… Maybe ten minutes later, I see Mischa Barton with an annoying entourage of cokeaddictpostergirls. MB looked pallid and was dressed horribly, and was talking on her cell while trying (without much luck) to light a cigarette. I cringed instinctively in TVstarsscarethecrapouttame!!!! horror and returned to my Peppermint latte, where I was so fucking struck by the differences between MT and MB that I wanted to go out into the world and: 1. Make a new friend, then: 2. Do a line. Just to test the waters of the TV star day-in-the-life spectrum.

· So I was enjoying a movie and Thanksgiving Lunch at the Grove on Thursday and, as I exit my movie, who do I see but Rob Reiner himself with a very pretty looking lady. The best part though was, as they walked out, Reiner saw an poster in the lobby for his newest masterpiece (i.e. got put on as director after poor gifted writer Ted Griffin got booted) RUMOR HAS IT. Like an excited 3 year-old he pointed to his poster and tugged on his female companion's arm. I guess she was used to is because she replied, quite annoyed, "I know I know. I can see it".

· Just got back from the Paul McCartney concert at Staples where I had the privilege to meet Leo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire. We were sitting about three rows back from them, and my companion knows them so we got to say hello and make small talk, and then I was able to observe the group behavior for the duration of the evening. I am sure the world will be glad to know that the two songs that had Leo on his feet were "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window" and "Hey Jude." For the latter, there was some jazzy hands action. I am glad to report that Tobey is thin once again — quite thin, actually — and was wearing old school sweatpants with elasticized ankles. Hott.

· I saw Jake Gyllenhaal in all his scruffy-faced glory at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, in the Cezanne to Pissarro show, on Monday, November 28 around 330pm. He was with a tall, skinny, but not very beautiful brunette. Definitely not Kirsten, if they're even supposed to still be together. She was leaning in very close to him the entire time, but no obvious signs of coupledom, like handholding. Maybe a new fling, or a cousin? After the exhibition, they perused the gift shop and he sniffed a bunch of candles. He likes "Japanese Quiche". He wore brown shoes, jeans, ugly felt grey CLOGS. Shorter in real life than he seems in the movies.

· Michael Chiklis is either stalking me or has no better place to strut his stuff than The Grove. Friday afternoon I spotted baldy and his family catching a flick at The Grove theaters. He looked relaxed and like he was enjoying a nice family outing. People didn't seem to bother or really even notice him, which I find surprising given his characteristically shiny bald head. I thought nothing more of him until Sunday when I was shopping with a friend at Nordstroms at The Grove (it's not my fault I live down the street), when I saw him in the Men's section looking for some new threads. Then I started to worry maybe I was in trouble that Vic Mackey was coming after me. Friday night at dinner at El Coyote I spotted a rather old looking Gabielle Union. When I pointed her out to my friends none of them even knew who she was. Nor did anyone at work. I guess maybe that doesn't count as a celebrity sighting then, does it? Friday night at St. Nick's I was sitting with some buddies when I noticed a trainwreck of a girl wearing the ugliest red, bohemian frock I've ever seen. I thought, "that looks like something Kirsten Dunst would wear." But it wasn't her, that was actually Dunst's friend. Kirsten looked surprisingly normal wearing a khaki jacket and a hat. She's a tiny girl, but she had fun dancing with her friends and despite recent gossip did not appear to be living up to her Kirsten Drunkst title. To wrap up the weekend, was catching an evening show of Harry Potter at The Grove on Sunday when I heard a familiar voice whisper, "sorry it took so long, they got EVERYTHING at the snack stand." I turned and saw none other than Lindsay Lohan taking her little siblings out for some good wholesome family fun. She was wearing a wife beater and baseball cap and though she doesn't look nearly as good as she did a year ago, she's looking good these days.

· So, Barney's on the Sunday after Thanksgiving is like Celebrity Central. I saw Kirsten "Dr. Sunken Tits" Dunst with a friend in the shoe department. She looks, dare I say it, pretty cute with her new hair extensions. I then saw Hilary Duff upstairs wandering around with a woman I assume was her mom. Hil was wearing a wifebeater and leggings. Her body doesn't look as scary-skinny as I thought it would, but her head definitely looks too big for her body now and the teeth are SO veneers. I think they have their own gravitational pull. Then, up at Barney Greengrass, Milo Ventimiglia was standing by the bar wearing black pants and a black button-down top. I momentarily took him for the maitre d', and when he cheerfully said hello to me, I said hello back and looked at him like, "are you going to seat me, or what?" and he then explained that he didn't work there. I realized who, in fact, he was, at this point and I explained that I was "just saying hi," because I am AN IDIOT. I then told him that I was just trying to decide if I wanted to sit at the bar or the patio, and then I scampered over to the ACTUAL maitre d'. I can't decide who should be more embarassed by this exchange: me for being so lame, or him for being mistaken for a maitre d' at Barney's.

· wednesday, november 23, lobby bar at l'ermitage in bev hills - saw eric "the hulk" bana, great looking, but tiny (are male celebrities bred in a lab? handsome, but precious moments size? does that read better on camera?) stayed through his second johnnie walker red, talking to some dork who looked like he'd just come in off the golf course - at 10:30 p.m. saturday, november 26, saks fifth ave mens in bev hills - saw debi mazar, who seems to be holding up pretty well, buying on sale shirts for her husband. one of them was rasberry. she was wearing a duster that I KNOW i saw her wear on "entourage." the wardrobe dept. on that show should keep an eye on girlfriend...also saw regis and joy at mr. chow, but new york or los angeles, wherever you are, don't you always see regis?

· Saturday November 26th - Was browsing with a friend in the ever-expanding denim section of Barney's when I overherad a familiar voice asking (very politely, I might add) an employee for assistance. Casually sauntered over in direction of said voice and found myself standing next to a petite reddish-haired girl - Drew Barrymore. She was shopping with 2-3 friends, looked very cute and "normal," was very courteous, and just gave off a great friendly vibe. Sunday November 27th - Was having a gloriously garlicky early dinner at Chosun Galbee in K-town, discussing with two girlfriends which of the Nip/Tuck plastic surgeons they'd go for, when in walks John Hensley (Matt, Sean's/Christian's son) and a Korean friend of his. I've always found him to be one of the odder looking actors on TV - something about the large pale cranium and tweezed-looking eyebrows and too-red lips reminds me of Jacko-the-Wacko (Michael Jackson). In person he looks less weird, but still something is off. Anyway, good to see a celeb out and about south of Wilshire.

· Saw Mandy Moore this morning at the Coffee Bean in the Beverly and La Brea area. She was talking on her shiny new pink moto-razr the whole time, even while ordering. I don't think the Conservative Jewish owner of the shop had any idea who she was because he made the celebrity faux-pas of asking for her name for the order. The guy clearly doesn't watch enough Entourage.

· At the Clips/Lakers game with the girlfriend on 11/18 (we're Clips fans) narrowly avoided running right into the supertan and supertall Pat O'Brien coming out of the suite-level's giant bar(!). While I couldn't tell if he was about to "get crazy" with the synthetic-looking blondie on his arm, I could tell that he didn't care to hear me sing the NBA on CBS [Ed.note—What?] theme song. Next day (11/19) on the way to UCLA game (we're hoops fans obviously) encountered a waaay bearded Keanu Reeves in front of The Gardens in Westwood. He was talking to a blonde woman who was probably exactly the same age as him. Somehow, in this town, that seemed wrong. And so did her fugly red leather boots (girlfriend made me write that).

· On a pre-turkey preemptive Thanksgiving day run on the Brentwood Country Club loop I encountered a no-longer-thirtysomething Patricia Wettig running with her big dog. On the return trip my already piqued celebrity hunter instincts led me to follow (chase?) a rugged looking guy who parked his BMW 7-series hastily into the Long's on San Vicente. Malcolm Gladwell had it right because in a blink of an eye I was face to face with Dennis Quaid. He asked the clerk for help and announced to his young companion "Blake" (one of his 18 stepchildren?) that the items they sought were in Aisle 4C. I leave it to my fellow Defamer readers to discover the wonders of Aisle 4C on their own...

· You can't swing a dead cat on Franklin Avenue without hitting an actor this week. Spotted Justin Chambers smoking a cig outside La Poubelle on Wednesday night. The Mayfair Market featured Eva Mendes on Wednesday evening, and Ron Perlman was there on Thursday.

· I saw Andy Richter going into the Hotel Sofitel for what looked like a workout. Weird cuz I read someone else's account of seeing him the other day at Larchmont and it viciously attacked the way he looks- he's adorable! Isn't the point of being mean to celebrities to expose untalented surface-obsessed frauds? Not truly talented people who were brave enough to break out? Makes me think twice about moving to this town......

· Saw Danny Masterson last Thursday at the awesome Art Brut show at Spaceland. Then saw Jason Lee, tall and fairly hot considering he was rocking the "Earl" moustache, at New Amsterdams at Spaceland the following Saturday. Surprisingly, I saw no celebrities whatsoever at Spaceland that Friday, when the place was packed for new mega-hyped UK "it band" the Arctic Monkeys. Yes, I do realize I could stand to expand my social life somewhat.

· Who: Erika Christensen
Where: 24 Hour Fitness on Sunset

When: Wednesday night, 8pm

What: Riding the exercise bike in sandals, Miss Christensen (wearing those clear braces that make it look like you’ve got food stuck in your teeth) was so disgusted by the “Scientology vs. Psychiatry” discussion on Anderson Cooper 360 that she actually resorted to watching the George Lopez Show on the other TV, just to avoid all the talk about nasty psychiatric drugs. Now that’s dedication.

· Yesterday (11-27) saw Gwen Stefani and husband Gavin Rossdale at the valet at Campanile for Sunday brunch. They looked tired and hungover and severely annoyed that we were staring at them. Yeah, um, next time don't get all rich and famous and then we won't stare at you.

· In LA for Thanksgiving, spotted Kevin Smith at Coffee Bean on Whitsett and Ventura. Wearing nasty bleach-spotted shants and a jersey that said "HACK." His blond daughter (Harley Quinn?!) rocked a faux leopard coat. Tried to share gawk with Mom and Mom's friend, who were clueless. Later: kd lang at Studio City farmers market, hugging pretty, dark-haired girlfriend. kd looked like a longshoreman, with cable-knit sweater, carpenter jeans, hale-and-hearty skin tone.

· Sunday night at the Grove I saw Kimberly Stewart mingling with several firefighters in front of their fire truck. For whatever reason, one of the firefighters put his jacket on her and as I passed I heard her say "They're so warm!" (referring to fire jackets, I assume). Talan was not around. I guess it took five men in uniform fawning over her to help her forget the pain of ending their engagement.

· December 1st at 11:45 a.m.: Nicole Richie with DJ AM driving her black Benz behind me on Santa Monica Blvd. for a few miles today (from WeHo through Century City). She looked beautiful and exactly as she does in photos - same sleek blonde coif, wearing a tight black top. Does she ever look unkempt anymore? DJ AM was sitting in the passenger seat wearing his usual oversized white t-shirt. Nothing terribly scandalous - Nicole appeared to be a very patient, safe driver.

· last sunday (11/20) i saw a tiny little man trying to squeeze him and his very tall unidentified blond date out of the Cheescake Factory at the Grove.. lo and behold it was Mr. David Spade. He had a red hat on and trying to look around to make sure people weren't recognizing him.. but we were and quite honestly we didn't care.. Mr. Capital One commercial.

· Mila Kunis in a black lexus filling up at Mobil in WeHo/SMB & Orlando.

· I quietly observed a very thin, gorgeous-without-makeup Keri Russell running lines for upcoming "Waitress" with actor-turned-director Adrienne Shelly in a nook at The Grove on Thanksgiving Day.

· Sunday morning 11/27/05...Toast on 3rd...my breakfast companion tried to be discreet by screeching "ANDERSON COOPER" in a high pitched voice that only dogs could hear, as we were seated at the table behind him. For a 'not gay' he was with 3 other 'certainly gay's and their dogs. His skin tone matches his hair color, and he looked NY dorky in a zipped up North Face fleece. Later as we were driving on Santa Monica Blvd, we pulled parallel with him, and watched as he turned to face the other way so that he could pick his nose, and the remnants of his breakfast out of his teeth, which he then proceeded to examine under his fingernail. Gloria would be so proud of his manners.

· at il sole last sunday...saw anderson cooper and his hhhhHOT [redacted]friend with what appeared to be [redacted] gay couple.
either that or anderson cooper and his other heftier older bear-ish pal likes to hang out with guys who weigh a buck fifty and have perfectly coifed hair and eyebrows. was so irritated about not being able to hear a goddamn word they were saying and believe me i was trying to stalk.
two tables away...mary steenburgen, ted danson, and some queen who my friend told me was some sort of decorator. mary looked surprisingly girlish and cute. not particularly interested in anything the gay was saying. business meeting? all i kept thinking was how amazing she looked. she literally looked 35 max. isn't she like 50 now? ted is just as grey and dapper as he is on Curb... is il sole the new gay hotspot or is it just hollywood?

· Saw RENT opening night at the Grove last Wednesday. While in line outside for the 8 p.m. show, saw Timothy Olyphant and some woman who was perhaps his wife (don't know what she looks like) TO was not in line, but he couldn't have been shopping, because most of the stores shut down at 7 p.m. Once we got inside, I spotted Project Greenlight's sponge-bathing director, John Gulager (and his wife) in the lobby (again, not in line to see RENT). Once inside—finally!—the theater (which was packed), spotted the tall, weird British doctor from "Crossing Jordan" (who IMDB tells me is named "Steve Valentine") with date.

· Thanksgiving Saturday. The Grove. Sales. Too many strollers...and the hand that rocks the cradle also knocked Rebecca DeMornay out of a long winter's nap and straight to the Gap. Bed-head, straw-colored hair in need of a dye job...and black stretch pants...just awful. The best sighting ever on Sunday evening at Kitson on Robertson....wait for it....David Hasselhoff!!! Dressed very low key (think suburban dad who just finished taking out the garbage), quite tall and over tanned. Was expecting a group of tourists to loose their shit and swarm him, but alas, no one paid much attention.

· On Saturday, my theory that only the finest celebrities that our city has to offer stroll among us mere mortals at the Grove was proven again, as a few minutes spent waiting outside for a showing of Syriana yielded this trifecta: Richard "Guest Spot on Every Sitcom Ever Aired" Kind, Donald "No Cute Identifier Needed" Faison, and One of the Deluise Boys, But Not the 21 Jump Street One, And No, Not The NYPD Blue Guy, Either. I fear that soon they'll stretch a velvet rope around the entire mall, and I'll no longer be able to fog up the window of Nike Goddess.

· Whilst eating sushi on Saturday night at Hana Sushi on Wilshire (next door to the Cabo Cantina) I noticed that Bob Saget was enjoying dinner with his kids. Could his other adult dining companion have been Andy Dick, as my professional celeb spotter wife claims? Or just his doppelganger? You be the judge.

· Saturday night may be “date night” for most in LA, but its reality D-lister “’girl’s’ night out” on the eastside. First, Gretchen Bonaduce dining with two girlfriends at Magnolia on Sunset and El Centro. Damn, that girl is tiny in person which leads you to wonder how small that Danny is as she sure looks bigger next to him on the show. Wonder if he was home with the kids and a crack pipe, or out with strippers and the kids were duct taped to their beds alone. From there, Andy “I’m only gay when I’m high” Dick and a buddy that looked like a bodyguard (tall, fat, slicked back pony tail) at 40 Deuce. Not sober. But not trashing the kitchen either. Front and center at the bar, no VIP $75 seat for this guy.

· Monday, 11/21/05. I was at Gelson's in Sherman Oaks. In the soup aisle I was standing next to comedian Larry Miller, best known as the doorman who hassles Jerry on Seinfeld. He was there with his two loud, young boys. Turned onto the frozen meat section, where I saw a tanned, blond, seven-footer. JOHN TESH!!!! He was on the phone, confirming an item on his grocery list with someone. About two minutes later I spotted his wife Connie Sellecca in the ice cream aisle. No make up and thin. I checked her age and she doesn't look 50 to me. She was actually pretty hot with some nice funbags.

· Saw David "Brian Austin Green" Silver straight rollin' up Ventura in a C-Class, yo. Kid was straight blingin'. Saw David Arquette-Cox (I'm swingin' for the fences today, folks!) at The Grafton last night, dining with four dudes on that little patio overlooking the pool. Also appropriately at his table? That dude who played the "bad boy" from Karate Kid III. The other three were just hangers-on, one of whom was the obligatory "cool" fat dude they brought along to flip the bill. He was wearing shades at 8:00pm. Remember the rules, tubby: Basking in D-List glow ups the tip to at least 25%. Pony up. It's worth it. Lastly, and actually above the D-List (albiet slightly), I saw Joely Richardson strolling around the Paramount lot two days ago. I'll spare you the obvious nepotism joke and just say that she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Statuesque, regal and utterly flawless.

· Friday 11/18: Tracee Ellis Ross at Whole Foods on Santa Monica/Fairfax. She didn't give me the celebrity glare and I thank her for that. Sun 11/20: Eddie Cibrian at the Grove with his kid.His kid did not hold him back from checking out my rack. I am STILL swooning, this man is the most gorgeous creature I've ever laid eyes upon. And he didn't wind up being 5'5" in person like most male actors. Something to dream about...

· At UCLA's performance of Shakespeare's Measure for Measure, saw a couple sightings – nobody from Sheer Demme's crowd, because let's get serious, this is Shakespeare. Number one, wearing a brown jacket overshadowed by his pink shirt with giant lapels: Charles Shaughnessy (Maxwell Sheffield – aka "the dad" on the Nanny – I had no idea.) Bad fro and someone should tell his kids that you don't wear minidresses over jeans, but c'est la vie. Second, and way nerd-cooler: Edward James Olmos, who all my group recognized for different films (Stand & Deliver, Selena (!) and the new Battlestar Galactica series) Spent all pre-show and most of intermission debating whether or not to say something (we were 5 seats away) My sister ended up leaping over a row of seats, he signed her sketchbook with "welcome aboard." Chatted briefly about the performance (which was, incidentally, fantastic).

· As soon as I took my seat on the early-morning LAX-Cincinnati flight on 11/23, I could sense a rarefied air in the first class cabin.
Looking to my left, I saw...a Backstreet Boy. Woo. It was only after a post-holiday Google image search that I discovered that I had been in
the midst of Kevin Richardson. He kept pretty much to himself, playing on his iBook pretty much the whole way. However, before takeoff, he was nice enough to sign autographs for one of the flight attendants. He was by himself and appeared quite single, though I'm ashamed to admit that I don't know enough about Backstreetdom to know if that's news or not.

· Special Blind Item: Saw Gossipy Gus working out at my gym, Beverly Hills Health and Fitness. I was in a session with my trainer while Gus was hitting the freeweights. He was doing shoulder shrugs, but my trainer said he was doing them wrong and could potentially injure his back. Can you guess who Gossipy Gus is? Why none other than Ted Casablanca!