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When the psychic stress of publicly pretending that her long-dead marriage to Nick Lachey was still vital became too much to bear, Jessica Simpson sought the services of a mental health professional. Britney Spears, gripped by fresh despair each time her new baby cried and husband Kevin Federline brusquely declined to comfort the infant because he was too busy working on his "flow," then sullenly retreated to the solace of his background dancing studio, reportedly also floated the idea of a therapist visit. K-Fed essentially replied, "Headshrinkerin' is for crazy bitches, yo, you har me?" The next step (as reported by the infallible celeb-scripture Life & Style) was somewhat more extreme, but perhaps inevitable given her mate's apprehensions about therapy:

So Brit went to the psychic. “She wants to know if Kevin will cheat, if they’ll have another child and if the marriage will last,” the pal said. Spears, who is said to be up for a role in Broadway’s “Sweet Charity,” also asked the psychic if it would be a good idea to find a role in the play for her hubby, according to the mag. The psychic said that would just mean more problems. Spears’ rep didn’t return calls for comment.

Having never satisfactorily completed the home-study course in the Tarot we began years ago, we feel unqualified to speculate on what Spears' preferred instrument of the spirit world revealed during their session. (Ok, fine: Yes, five more unless her womanly birthing apparatus is removed, and no, not past March.) But we do feel that the psychic's warning against finding Federline a role in her musical is pessimistic and misguided; maybe a small part as "Layabout Baby-Daddy #4" is exactly what the underemployed dancer needs to snap out of his neglectful funk.