This image was lost some time after publication.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are authored by our readers; send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “sighting” or “PrivacyWatch” in the subject line, unless you want us to lose your hard work) and let the world know that you recognize Jerry from Real Genius.

In this huge episode: Mike Tyson; Leonardo DiCaprio and Keanu Reeves; Kirsten Dunst; Kirsten Dunst, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Leslie Ann Warren; Bono and Larry Mullen Jr; Prince; Vince Vaughn; Larry David and Brian Grazer; Christian Bale, William Atherton, and Adam Goldberg; Diane Lane; Michael Vartan; Scott Speedman and Joshua Jackson; Paris Hilton and Matthew Perry; Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie; Nicole Richie and DJ AM; David Spade; Debra Messing; Amanda Peet; Pam Anderson and Kid Rock; Forest Whitaker, Perry Farrell, and Macy Gray; Melanie Griffith; Laura Dern and Ben Harper; Kirstie Alley and Doris Roberts; Jason Lee; Robin Tunney; Maura Tierney, Joey Lauren Adams, and Ron Jeremy; Pink; Jerry O'Connell and Chris Evans; Charlie O'Connell; Eric Balfour; Sara Gilbert; John Waters; Shia LeBeouf; Hulk Hogan; Patrick Swayze and Jay Manuel; J. Alexander; Aaron Paul.

· 11/2: mike tyson (and guard) was at the west hollywood caregiver assoc. on fairfax and santa monica, north west corner, second floor. many people gawking. he came in with his large "friend" and began the paperwork to go buy weed, I was leaving and didn't feel right abou going back in to see what he bought, but they only sell weed, hash, hash oil and edibles, so it was one of those. they won't let you in without a marijuana perscription, so he was talking at the front desk, where they take your pic for an ID card... Looking quite happy, ear to ear grin. the face tattoo is disturbing, but I guess that is the point.

· Last night (11/3) around 6pm, taking my boss to his car in the executive car park this silver Prius drives in and stops next to us. I'm thinking the guy in the passenger seat with the mane of rock star scruffy/fabulous hair is hot when my boss goes "that's Leonardo DiCaprio." Sure enough, it was. Leo's non-descript pony-tailed buddy hops out and jogs to the Administration building while Leo gets out and shifts to the driver's seat. He didn't seem as tall as I've ben led to believe but darn it all, Prius driving Leo cares about the earth! Then today (11/4) as I strolled past the exec car park again, who should saunter from there to Admin but Ted/Neo himself, Keanu. He was with a short agenty looking dude and large blonde chic in an awful white boho dress/jeans thing. Keanu was looking exceedingly rumpled in a back suit with that scruffed out, overgrown hair and beard and, gasp, brown shoes. Fugly girls, where are you? Hopefully this means we have more than one movie in the pipeline because what on earth kind of role could both of THEM be meeting on?

· friday night at the Grove, opening night show of Jake Gyllenhaal's "Jarhead", and who's sitting behind us but Kirsten Dunst. She was lovely and very tiny, almost miniature. After the movie she gave a few people hugs (fans?) , said something to her friend about going to a party later. So is she still going out with Jake or what?

· On Sunday 11/6, I by chance went into Whole Foods Market (SMB & Fairfax) to quickly grab something (some special natural shampoo for my GF). While in the shampoo aisle, I see a down-dressed cute blonde in a red hat who looked very familiar. Turns out it was Kirsten Dunst. Accused of just checking out some random chick, my girlfriend didn't believe it was her until she passed right by us humming a little tune - Kirsten seemed very happy to be shopping all by herself. A few minutes later, we saw Jake Gyllenhaal waiting in line trying to act like all the people staring at him didn't exist. Kirsten comes running up with her cart and Jake seems overjoyed to see her. Sounds like a good sighting to me. On Saturday 11/5, I was at Expo Design Center in Westwood and saw Leslie Ann Warren. She was with some guy and was just shopping around. She looks younger in person than she does on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.

· Bono and Larry Mullen Jr. having dinner at Ago on Thursday.

· Saturday Nov 5th at House of Blues on Sunset (Ravi Coltrane was performing) I however, was enjoying myself (Cosmopolitan number 4or5 in Hand) in The Foundation Room, when I decided I needed a Cigarette. So I (in a pink drunken haze), head out to the balcony, only to almost step on and squish “The little Purple Prince” himself. OK … so step on is a little much, but I do remember that my stumble led to His Purpleness getting up close and personal with my “Girls”. He was so sweet and humble and even apologized (thought it wasn’t his fault) for bumping into me. “Don’t blame yourself” is said, “Blame the Cosmopolitans” (raising my glass with a wink!) and proceeded to sit and smoke. I guess it’s true what they say “Good goods, come in Small packages”

· Thursday morning (11/03) around 10 AM I was doing a location scout in Griffith Park near the Observatory. On one of the fire trails my friend and I were video taping the scenery toward the Hollywood Sign when two guys walked by us on the trail and then right through our shot. Later my friend said “Did you get that?” I was like, “yeah, so what?” and he was like, “That was Vince Vaughn and his trainer”. Looking at the tape later it was clear it was Vince and it was clear he must have thought we were taping him. He kept his head down as he walked by but it was clearly him. He was wearing sweats and a long sleeve flannel shirt. I think they had been running but maybe they were just hiking.

· I'm standing outside the Hideout, waiting for the valet to retrieve my car, and who walks out of Giorgio Baldi, but Larry David, with what I just hope was only his daughter. So that's interesting, even though that show wants to make me poke my eyes out. But then, because apparently I've landed in Hell but nobody told me, who walks up towards the restaurant and greets Larry David, but fucking Brian Grazer, with either his girlfriend, wife or whatever, I really don't care. Anyway, luckily I had nothing to drink at that point (as opposed to now), because I would have kicked Grazer's scrawny ass. That asshole is responsible for "A Beautiful Mind," the most horribly irresponsible drivel of shit ever put on the screen - that is, if you have ever been touched by the true reality of schizophrenia of family members, not some fucking Russell Crowe tour de farce.

· Snaking my way through the 3rd Street Promenade, I was just about to enter The Gap when I spotted a gawgeous chiseled face beneath a ratty ball cap. The famous mug belonged to none other than my lifetime crush, Jack Kelly/Laurie/Patrick Bateman/Batman HIMSELF, Christian Bale! Dressed in said ball cap, track pants and a pull over fleece, he was linked elbow-to-elbow with a pretty brunette (Mrs. Batman?), and obviously trying not to draw too much attention to himself. I must say, though, that even clad in rags, his is devastatingly handsome. I suppressed the urge to yell out, "Santa Fe!!!!!!," but I did exit The Gap quite quickly to get a rear view. Hated to see him go, but I loved to watch him walk away... Walking through Westwood, my fella and I passed a dapper looking, red haired gentleman who I quickly recognized as none other than William Atherton, the actor who made a career throughout the 80's playing uptight, smarmy authority figures, most notably Walter Peck from "Ghostbusters," but who for me will always be Professor Dr. Jerry Hathaway from "Real Genius." Seriously, he stopped me in my tracks, whereupon I whispered aloud, "Dr. Hathaway??" I don't think he heard me. I wish I'd had the guts to ask him if he still hates popcorn (wink wink). Doing brunch at LuLu's, I spotted a rather Frankensteinian Adam Goldberg (sans lollipop arm candy Christina Ricci) taking a seat at an outdoor table with an unidentified agent-in-training looking pal. Homeboy is hairy and looming, and he seemed irritated about something...but then, doesn't he always?

· I was at an Italian restaurant in Westwood which has a couple of tables on the sidewalk. Halfway through our meal, Diane Lane bursts in to the restaurant and has a chat with management. We look outside and it turns out that Ms. Lane or her daughter dropped a bottle of olive oil which broke on the sidewalk. In true Italian style, management did nothing, and we had a great time watching Diane Lane pick up the pieces of glass off the sidewalk and repeatedly come in and out of the restaurant to go to the bathroom for paper towels.

· Friday 11/4 - WeHo/Sunset Plaza - Was enjoying an early salad lunch with my friend on the sidewalk seating at Le Petit Four, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but (former?) "Alias" stud Michael Vartan walking past us along Sunset, accompanied by his dog. (Appeared to be a chocolate lab.) Very pleasant guy (and even studlier than on TV) — stopped long enough for me to pet the dog and say hello, before heading west to parts unknown.

· 11/8 - scott speedman and joshua jackson were cavorting at the broken social scene show tonight at henry fonda. not much else to say, really.

· Boy was Paris Hilton throwing a hissy fit at the entrance to the "uber-exclusive" Teddy's last night. She had a flock of 15 people behind her and as more people started to join her group she turned into "bitch-mode" and started yelling at people to get out of her posse. Also Matthew Perry was standing around all night at Teddy's, after ditching his date from the Motorola party, looking like a deer in the headlights perched up against a pole next to our table and hitting on all the women as they walked by....

· Was at a magazine launch party last night hosted in someone’s mansion. Paris and Nicole are talking and they bummed cigs off me, I swear. I hate Paris but still gave her the cigarette, and now I hate myself.

· I was waiting forever for a table at the very crowded Katsuya in Encino when a very thin young woman raced outside to take a phone call. At first I thought it was the anorexic Olsen twin but when she reappeared it was Nicole Richie joining her D.J. fiancé and two girls for a sushi feast.

· I was driving around Hollywood last night (11/2) looking for an ice cream place to take care of my craving and I see David Spade in his silver Audi. He was stopped at a red-light on Hollywood and Ivar talking on his phone. It looked like he was sitting on a high-chair or something. His head was an inch from the roof and his body was so close to the steering wheel. He looked like a grandma.

· Debra Messing at the Westwood Whole Foods late afternoon on Saturday (11/07) with her adorable tow-headed son and gorgeous hubby. Debra wasn't wearing a scrap of makeup, in jeans and a sweater (not super skinny). She's very pretty except that her hair was..well...a bit of a rat's nest. She was cute with her son — talking with him about what he wanted for dinner while trying very hard to ignore all of the shoppers staring and following her into aisles. I let her go ahead of me in the preprepared food line as she was holding a wriggling child. She was very gracious about it.

· Amanda Peet yesterday at the Grove movie theater. She was standing outside the men's room wating for her man. He finally came out (he looked like an actor, don't know if he's famous or not) and they walked away arm-in-arm. She was wearing glasses and red pants.

· On Halloween night, I was invited to join in the annual festivities in Malibu Colony. In an impressive celebrity display of "real human behavior," Pam Anderson and Kid Rock actually sat in front of Pam's "Haunted House" and greeted and chatted with every single kid and parent that went through. They were friendly, fun and relaxed. They seemed to have a bunch of adult friends around and everyone had a glass of champagne in hand. Pam was wearing a Sponge Bob costume, which was essentially a yellow felt sack, but in true Pam style, it had been tailored to just barely cover her ass. Of course, she was wearing the requisite stiletto heels and she looked just great. Beautiful and healthy. The latest photos making their way around the web just don't do her any justice. Best of all, Pam's treat for each kid was a fresh, homemade caramel apple - absolutely delicious if not a little unwieldy.

· I went to the LA art silent auction / celebrity circlejerk thing in Culver City Saturday night. Forest Whitaker sighted, as was Perry Farrell. When I walked up to the door with (not one but) two boytoys in tow, we watched this big black limo pull up, driver step to back door, Macy "Daffy duck and eartha kitt's lovechild" Gray pop out in a headwrap, no makeup, big army jacket, no nail polish, total frumpy clothes. Not looking so great. Dub dj inside, spins "redemption song," she sings the song — forgets the words halfway through.

· Giving life to the saying "Ridden Hard and Put Away Wet" Melanie Griffith at the Grove on Saturday night. Wearing a leather jacket and permanent scowl, she looked horrible. I guess those age defying products she used to shill for Revelon didn't really help.

· On Friday, 10/28 at around 1:00 pm, I was leaving the parking lot of Von's on the corner of California & Pasadena Ave. (in Pasadena), when a group approaching the driveway appeared. The man in the group gestured to me to let them pass, and as I obliged, I noticed it was none other than Ben Harper, Laura Dern, and their two kids (a boy & girl). All were dressed in the casual, neo-hippie/grunge look that's so fashionable these days. Laura studiously avoided looking my way, preferring instead to tend to her youngun's. Ben, after his initial gesture, nervously looked straight ahead ("Oh no! She might recognize us!"). The kids were cute, and mom & dad were, too.

· On Saturday night I was a Spaceland and so was one Jason Lee. Having spent plenty of time objectifying him mentally as a teenager, I was at first rather excited. But, there is just something kind of sad about "My Name is Earl" smoking and drinking copiously all by his lonesome, while sporting that awful mustache no less! A masturbatory fantasy he is no longer. How the great have fallen.

· Eating a steak the size of my head at Mastro's on Friday night (11/4), my brother interrupted my chewing to point out that Ice Cube (eating downstairs!) was at the table a couple of feet away, thus prompting me to say that today was a good day. My brother had promised a "defamer" sighting and boy did he deliver...we were both 94% sure we also saw former Mayor Riordan (eating upstairs).

· Kirstie Alley at ArcLight, not fat, still more on the chunk-style side than what one could reasonably call svelte - but lookin good in some brown cords heading into whatever AFI was showing at 2 on sunday afternoon. oh yeah - and Doris Roberts was leadin' the charge. i guess that's a double-sighting.

· I was at a Silverlake bar with some friends on Halloween when I noticed a striking young woman sitting at the bar. My friends recognized her and smirked as I stumbled through a You-Look-Familiar? variation. I know—only jerks who are pretending NOT to recognize someone famous use that line, but I was oblivious. Needless to say, she looked skeptical. The bigger embarrassment was in describing my costume (handcuffs, orange jumpsuit, gang ink—I was looking sharp) as being "an escaped convict, you know, like in a prison break." She asked me if meant the TV show which maybe subconsciously I did, but I haven't seen Prison Break and either had the guys I was with whose comments ranged from "That sounds like a stupid show" to the prerequisite dropped soap in the shower joke. Either way, this very nice young lady looked a little perturbed by me. Later my friends identified her as Robin Tunney, star of—amoung other things— TV's Prison Break. I can understand why she didn't join us for a drink as she probably thought I was a deranged stalker. Next year, I'm going in my Empire Records costume.

· Just got home from a star-sighting trifecta. Well, maybe closer to a B-list trifecta. Or maybe it was really two Bs and a sad,sad XXX. The AFI fest was tying up traffic near the Arclight so we decided to park on Ivar and spend the evening walking around. Popped into Amoeba and saw Maurna Tierney standing right by the door with a female friend. She was very petite, low-key and dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. I'm guessing she had come from work judging by the heavy orange foundation which seemed out of place given her casual attire. After Amoeba, we managed to make it through a whole movie experience at the Arclight without a single star sighting. I guess there's a first time for everything. After the movie, we walked to The Bowery for a bite to eat and sat near Joey Lauren Adams who was with a gaggle of friends right out of central casting. She and her friends kept pairing up to take smoking breaks out front. Otherwise unremarkable except that she is impressively unchanged from her Clerks / Chasing Amy days. After the eats and drinks, we were walking back to our car, and who should we run into? Drumroll please... the hirsute horndog of days gone by, Ron Jeremy. He was walking alone between Amoeba and the Arclight. He ended up walking just behind us for the two remaining blocks to our car. My boyfriend remarked that Ron must be pretty cheap to have chosen street parking over the parking at the Arclight. I thought that he was just being funny, until I saw Ron get into a very,very beat up silver Saturn parked right in front of us. We drove beside him for a few blocks on our way home. He had his lights off and my boyfriend rolled down the window to signal him. Ron made eye contact but he seemed to misinterpret my boyfriend's hand signals as some sort of overly enthusiastic fan attempting to flag him down. Upon "being recognized," he immediately averted his eyes and sped off into the night, lights still off, driving with his knees while pulling his hair back into a ponytail.

· Pink and (boyfriend? husband? personal tattoo artist?) Corey Hart stampeded by me on the 3rd St. Promenade in SM tonight (11/6). Couldn't get a decent look at her, but she never did it for me anyways.

· jerry o'connell and chris evans (fantastic four) lunching at houstons in century city. agent type accross the table from them in a booth. it was interesting when the woman got up to leave... the two guys were sitting at the booth alone on the same side like a couple... i was like what the heck are jerry o'connell and chris evans doing sitting like a couple at houstons!!?!

· Friday night, I went to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in Hollywood. As my friend and I were waiting to be seated, we saw the Sleaziest Bachelor of all, Charlie O'Connell leaving with a tiny blonde. Not having watched the show, I wondered if it was the unlucky bachelorette he had picked, and made a mental note to do internet research to find out (sadly, that's the kind of person I am). As luck would have it, though, flipping through trashy gossip magazines at the salon the next day, I saw an article about how Charlie and the bachelorette girl (apparently named Sarah) and how happy they were. Definitely the same girl from Roscoe's. Reality TV "love" conquers all, I guess.

· Spotted Eric Balfour (Claire's BF, Gabriel, on Six Feet Under) having dinner with 3 others at Vermont restaurant in Los Feliz. He wore silly looking pork pie hat throughout his meal, and went outside for a smoke between courses.

· I just saw Sara Gilbert at Bristol Farms in BH today (11/6) with her girlfriend and cute baby riding in the cart. She smiled at me as I smelled the truffle cheese. Seemed pretty mellow and low key

· Saw John Waters last night(Nov.4) at the wrap party for HBO's Real Time..since I am just a lowly teacher and not a "playa", I ran up to him to star fuck the hell out of him! What a great guy, he even listened to me tell stories about my special ed. students...lovely, lovely man!

· Saw Shia LeBeouf with his small entourage, that included his mother, at Moe's on Saturday afternoon. He looked as if he had just woken up, baseball cap, ripped t-shirt, short sweat pants and slippers. He looked a lot skinnier than I thought he was, and he and his group were discussing religion and the conversation was getting quiet heated.

· Saw Hulk Hogan today (11/3) at Gold's Gym in Venice, lifting weights, natch. Red bandana, giant Fu Manchu mustache, black muscle shirt with curious venting cut-outs along the spine. He reracked his weights — who can lift them besides him? Stopped to take a photo with a grandpa-looking dude and moved to another room.

· I hesitate to even send this because of the fact that my sighting this weekend happened at The Arclight. I think they should change the name of the place to "B-Listers-A-Go-Go" or something like that. You'll probably get 1,000 emails detailing the AFI film fest, but who cares. We sat down to dinner and drinks at the Arclight Cafe at around 6pm on Saturday... not long afterward, my dining partner says, "Look who's here..." I turned around, and noticed the dark-skinned man with platinum blond hair. "OMG, it's Sisqo!" My friend was quick to correct my attempt at humor..."Shut up, stop joking around, it's Tyra's makeup artist." Neither of us could remember his name... that's how famous he is. A quick text message to my friend Keka was all it took to figure it out "Name of Tyra's gay manservant?", "Jay Manuel." He wasn't nearly as tiny as he looks on ANTM. Since when does someone look 20 pounds heavier OFFscreen? Then I realized that they must be using special slimming cameras for that show. The rest of my story was going to be really long, but I'll sum it up. We came out of Capote, the AFI film fest was letting out, we ran right into Patrick Swayze. He was wrinklier than a Shar Pei after a long bath. I sent my friend Keka one more text message. "Pat Swayze at Arclight. If the year was 1990, that would have been an A-List sighting."

· Saw Miss Jay (judge J. Alexander from America's Next Top Model) at the Grove on Sunday wearing a "Naomi slapped me" t-shirt (with "and I slapped that bitch back!" printed on the back).

· Saw Aaron Paul again!!! This time at Sharky's on Cahuenga (i know, i must stop.). He was eating alone and wearing thick black eyeliner. I bet he is a big 30 Seconds to Crap fan. When i walked in he kinda stared me down. Did he recognize me from the Baja Fresh siting ? Is he the new Shane West? Does he know i'm the one writing in about him? Does he go to these places to see me so i will write in about him? Is he stalking me? does he think i'm stalking him? How can i enjoy the same hollywood eateries as him? This is all so meta.