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When Paris Hilton officially split up with fiancé Paris Latsis, she made off with most of the poor Greek shipping heir's fame, dignity, and, presumably, orgy friends. This left Latsis is something of a bind, for in January, he'd purchased a house large enough to accommodate both his ladylove's horny caravan and her astounding assflaps. While Latsis is sorting through the wreckage of his life, he's put his mansion on the market, and may actually realize a profit for his suffering. The Defamer Special Real Estate Correspondent strikes again:

Well, in proof that the rich get richer, Paris Latsis tries to turn tragedy (in several meanings of the word) into profit, by putting his house on the market for $13.8 million, a more than two million dollar profit in less than a year.


Paris bought the house from Dallas Cowboy Keyshawn Johnson for reportedly between $10 and $11 million in January. Keyshawn also profited, by letting Esquire pay for a full over-the-top renovation in exchange for letting them throw a month's worth of parties at the home. The house was on the market before the full brace of events was over - brilliant on Keyshawn's house. Who wants to live there after 10,000 B-list asses have been on every toilet seat in the house? Think of the sexually transmitted bugs in that crowd. I won't even let close friends use my master bathroom.

Paris is quoted as saying the house was "too big" for him. Translate as "after Paris moved out, it feels empty?" Tragedy number one.

Tragedy number two is the house itself. While the finishes and furniture were top-notch and full of the kinds of flashy tricks both ballers and Greek playboys like, you have to wonder about the quality of work. With the rush of a hard date for the launch party, how many construction corners were cut? The house is probably more a movie set than a well-built home. And, secondly, the problem with these design houses is that the rooms are designed to impress individually, not to hang together as a whole vision. There is usually very little communication between each designer or sponsor.

While I have not seen if Mr. Latsis changed anything in his 11 months of ownership (or how much Ms. Paris ruined), I had the opportunity to attend four or five of the parties when My Johnson still owned the house and see it all. There were some nice touches, but, again, better suited for Mood than a private residence: backlit marble hearth in the sitting room, about a billion Plasma screens up to 60 inches in size, including two in the kitchen, Bizaza tiled pool, etc. But, I suppose they say "new luxury" home touches are driven by what the newly affluent experienced in their travels to boutique and five star hotels. In this case, "new, NEW luxury" might be driven by what the uber-young and rich experience in clubs. Makes sense, right? So why not duplicate Mood or the Shore Club or Tao at home?

At least if you're a baller of either stripe.

Maybe Joe Francis needs a place to live?