Tom Cruise Marches His Crazy Parade to 'The View'

After joining the ladies, Tom then begins his ritual couch-jumping.
Reason number 472 to avoid Star Jones: It's War of the Worlds Day on The View, which means Tom Cruise and his bearded bride-to-be are bouncing right into Barbara Walters' lap. When asked to explain his recent antics, Cruise earnestly said, "I can't restrain myself." After the jump, visual proof that this is, indeed, the case.

Not content to merely do "enough," Tom performs a second couch-jump. This will continue for 2 hours.

Tom Cruise, King of the Sectional Sofa.

Desperate to control her bouncy guest, co-host Joy Behar straps cruise to the couch.

Obligatory crotch shot.

"Show us, Tom, what repression feels like."

Tom demonstrates how he spends his free time when not with Katie Holmes.

Portrait of a gangbang.

Ha ha ha! Oh, har har! Tee hee! Hahahahahaha! HA HA HAR HA!

Despite all his rage, he's still just a Cruise in a cage.

Tom assaults, audits Joy Behar.

Being an Operating Thetan feels good, doesn't it?

Oh, surprise! Katie Holmes is here! Jump the couch, Katie!

If this romance is a sham, then how come she's scratching his belly? See, this love is real.

"You shut your mouth, woman, or I'll hit you again."

The horrific consumation. Time to turn off the tv.