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Overheard at a recent meeting of The First Publicity-Prop's Club: "When he takes out hees, how you say, e-meter? You jus say 'Ooo, eet's so beeeeg, Tom,' and then he'll jus go in the other room and play with eet."

[We're only lashing out because we still haven't made peace with the despoiling of America's sweetheart.]

[Photo: Getty Images]