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As part of our somewhat semiregular series of early morning features meant to challenge, titillate, or vaguely nauseate our readers while they enjoy that first cup of coffee, we present this slice of a hard-hitting exchange between a fashion reporter for the Dallas Morning News and The OC's patio furniture-abusing, lesbian lite (TV only, people!) actress Mischa Barton (presumably) at a press junket for Keds, which Barton endorses.

F!D: You have such great style; do you always have a stylist on call?
Ms. Barton: I don't have one that I use for everyday, only for special events sometimes.
F!D: What did you snack on in the green room?
Ms. Barton: A chicken salad sandwich, cheese and Fiji water.

Since a junket isn't exactly an opportunity for investigative journalism, we'll give the intrepid reporter credit for carrying on something resembling a conversation with Barton and escaping without a crippling aneurysm. And if this conversation snippet isn't sufficient meditation material while you finish up that omelet, why don't you take a quick trip to Barton's page on the Keds website, featuring enough loud music and intrusive Flash animation to deliver on that squandered promise of a burst blood vessel in your brain?