Because, as we earlier noted, it is your god-given right to pen a memoir, Erica Jong's daughter, Molly Jong-Fast, is releasing a collection of self-reflectionastic essays, The Sex Doctors In The Basement (unleashed tomorrow). Normally, we'd feign only mild interest in such a book, but we couldn't help but notice an interesting passage on page 166:

Luke (please note that I am not using this character
s real name instead I am calling him Luke because of his uncanny resemblance to Luke Skywalker or something) came to Venice with his Irish nanny and stayed in a pool-side suite at the Cipriani. [...] Luke
s mother was a famous actress. [Later] Luke went home to California. Under very suspicious circumstances (involving some degree of abuse from her boss) the nanny quit.

Golly, who would ever be so cruel? Surely it's not someone like Faye Dunaway. No, that's just not possible. She would never do anything like, say, punch a nanny in the face. We don't even know where we got that crazy idea, but these Sharpies sure do smell good.