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We've spent the better part of the day avoiding Britney Spears' latest Letter of Truth, but as the afternoon drags on and we slip ever deeper into the recesses of a severe caffeine hole, we find our best efforts at resistance utterly futile in the face of her prose. But where to start? Trying to examine each crucial life update offered by Spears is certainly an exercise in madness, sure to leave us bleeding from the ears and cursing God for gifting the pop star so much and us so little. So we do what we can to preserve the last of our fragile sanity, chipping away a tiny piece of Spears' constantly-evolving Rosetta Stone:

Co-directing this video was like an experimental project for me. I feel like being behind the camera is sometimes more satisfying than being in front of it. Working on this video was my first taste into behind the scenes work which I am excited about doing more of in the near future. When a woman directs, I think it just alters the entire feel of the movie, production or play in such a positive way.

How does she manage expression so packed with meaning, dense like the nuclei of the elements of the periodic table that hold together barely long enough to be identified by scientists? In a mere four (delightfully agrammatical) sentences, we're given a sense of Spears' sense of adventure, plans for the future, creative aspirations, and a mini-treatise on the effect of gender roles in music video direction. Amazing! We're going to need to cleanse the mental palate with the letters section of People before we're able to write another word.