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Wherein we invite our readers to take their interpretive weed-whackers to the linguistic overgrowth that humpy E! gossip green-thumb Ted Casablanca uses to obscure the identity of his weekly blind item. After a week off, Casablanca returns to the old blind item standby, the supposedly straight actor engaging in gay sex. Roll around in One Helpful Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Slick Nick has it all: career, great hair, looks, chicks everywhere he burps and winks. Damn, he's got everything a full-blooded, babe-beddin' straight stud could ever wet-dream of, right? Well... Yep...and nope." Read the item.

UPDATE: You say: The e-mail lines are closed and your guesses are in!