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Wherein we invite our readers to risk catastrophic brain injury puzzling over humpy E! gossip encoder Ted Casablanca's weekly blind item. (Blind item health tip: If you start to hear colors and your coffee begins to taste like copper, step away from the computer and take a short break.) This week, the sex is straight and the drugs for self-medication, but don't let that stop you from bringing your "A" game. Roll around in One Useless Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Oy, this guy's a whiner. And a damn good actor, too (though nobody gives him credit for it), 'cause he's got the world—and those few left who drool over him—fooled that he's a charismatic, irresistible kinda guy. Down, flaccid and out in Beverly Hills is much more like it." Read the item.

UPDATE: You say: Your guesses are posted!