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Wherein we invite our readers to decipher the verbal prestidigitation of humpy E! gossip philosopher-king Ted Casablanca and guess the identity of his weekly blind item. This week, Ted goes behind the scenes of a local spa and finds...a famous gay propositioning a civilian for hot gay action! Absorb One Ballsy Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "This one's gonna be a quickie, in more ways than one. There's a rather fancy spot in town. It caters to famous people. Its services? Oh, pampering to the nth degree, I'll say that much." Read the item.

UPDATE:
You say: Your guesses are in!