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The tabloids are abuzz with fresh Paris Hilton nonsense, as oil bonus baby/Mischa Barton chauffeur Brandon Davis vents to the National Enquirer about Hilton's N-bomb dropping proclivities. Says Davis: "She uses the word all the time, and I've known her all of her life. It's 'n- - - - - this' and 'n- - - - - that.' She's a disgrace. She is a racist! She puts down Jews and other minorities, too. And I'm Jewish. I found it depressing." As if these accusations weren't lacerating enough, Davis further bleeds Hilton with the ultimate rich guy's insult. "Her value as a commodity is severely damaged." No. You. Didn't.

There is, of course, one simple way that Hilton can atone for her ignorance and begin the healing process, and we're sure her people are already feverishly setting it up before her brand erodes further. Start monitoring the internet (or you local purveyor of coin-slot erotica) for Paris' Backdoor Multicultural Gang Bang For Unity, where the only N-word is "naughty."