Sun Rises, Sun Sets, New Paris Hilton Sex Tape Surfaces

Please excuse us if we've becoming slightly jaded at the prospect of yet another (a third!) instance of Paris Hilton engaging in explicit sex acts in front of a camera. News of the World reports that Paris Hilton Has Sex, Vol. III is "being hawked around America for £30,000 by a three-man consortium," and features "kinky group sex" and "lesbian footage."
Oops, sorry. We just suffered a "been there, done that" aneurysm, but it passed. While we've long admired Hilton's particular genius for publicity, we're now beginning to appreciate her understanding of the laws of supply and demand. If this new tape does indeed exist, it seems clear that Hilton's plan is to completely flood the market with video of her sexploits until images of her naked, doggystyling form are devalued to the level of a "Can you hear me now?" commercial from Verizon. However, a Pay-Per-View midgets-and-emus orgy with the Verizon guy might actually bring some new value to Paris' brand.