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Macaulay Culkin's legal team has taken umbrage with a pair of our posts linking to stories on another website (and since taken down) that speculated about Culkin's preference in a partner's genitalia. Thanks to his lawyers, now we know he's exclusively a vagina kind of guy. They helpfully shed light on Culkin's non-relationship with sublebrity Jeffrey Brunner, whom the rumors "linked romantically" to Culkin:

Mr. Culkin has never met Mr. Brunner and certainly has no relationship with him romantically or otherwise. Your site maintains that Mr. Culkin is gay, and as he heretofore publicly stated, he is not.

So, there you have it. Doesn't know Brunner, not homosexual. And while we're setting the record straight, we've never "maintained" that Culkin is a gay. Also, here's a freebie clarification: We don't actually think that Culkin should cut off his penis or poke out his eyes, even if Paris Hilton is somewhere in his six-degree network of sexual contacts. Those courses of action would probably lead to a lot of blind, penisless zombies shuffling around Los Angeles.