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Popbytes, the website that ignited discussion about former Home Alone munchkin Macaulay Culkin's preferences in a partner's genitalia, posts an update on the rumors. We still haven't been able to completely understand the bizarre, supposed love-pentagram involving Culkin, Simon Rex, Nick Carter, Paris Hilton, and sub-celebrity Jeffrey Brunner; quite frankly, it gave us a headache so severe we'd go to the hospital if we had health insurance. Yesterday, the Hilton connection prompted us to recommend that Culkin lop off his penis in an act of self-preservation. With today's batch of rumors, we further suggest he poke out his eyes.