This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

We only now realize that the hubris of even entertaining the thought of a "Britney-free day" gives the Baby Jesus a wicked case of colic, causing His cries to drown us in Spears-related nonsense. How could we have been so naive? Now we're compelled to present the latest (and perhaps the most promising) item in the Britney Economy, a pair of lace boyshorts supposedly worn by Spears on her fake wedding night. The cred-seeking vendor also offers to include a staff pass from the event as proof that the item has actually touched Spears' dainty bottom. By all means, bid now, before a pair of crotchless panties (encrusted with rhinestone studs spelling out "Property of K. Federline'") are put on sale following her real wedding in Santa Barbara on October 16th.

We'd love to promise this is the last of the Spears news for a while, but then we'd find a copy of a birth certificate revealing that she and K-Fed are actually brother and sister crammed in our mail slot.